Knob job

If that big bald-headed sonofabitch can work this thing, I should be able to. He isn't so much of a much.

What does Turkish want for his birthday? Opposable thumbs, so he can open the goddamn door. He wants out! Out! Out out out out out, as in right fucking now, thank you very much.

The great furry swine turned 2 years old today, but he’s been very deep into the terrible twos for the better part of quite some time, stalking about the joint complaining about this and that and reminding me very much of me, only sober. Plus he can lose all the white hair he wants and never go bald.

Just be careful what you wish for, big guy. You ever get those opposable thumbs you crave so desperately, we’re making you clean out your own litter box. The presents you leave for us in there could blow a buzzard right off a gutpile.

March 4th, 2009 | Category: Cats, Uncategorized | Subscribe to comments | Comments are currently closed | Trackback URL

4 Responses to “Knob job”

1. 
   1
   Bret:
   March 5th, 2009 at 1:25 am

   Happy birthday to Turkish. I think a jar of Gerber turkey baby food and two candles are in order.

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   2
   Ben S.:
   March 5th, 2009 at 2:36 pm

   Yea, Happy B-day big Whitey, oh and be nice to your owners, leave the candles burning next to the litter box.

3. 
   3
   Patrick O'Grady:
   March 5th, 2009 at 9:43 pm

   Portuguese sardines and Black Diamond cheddar are the shiznit as far as the Turk’ is concerned. As to owners, now, puh-leeze: Dogs have owners, cats have staff.

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   4
   Steve O':
   March 6th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

   portuguese sardines… will have to remember that.

   for dogs, hormel turkey pepperoni is the best combo of healthy, tasty, and cheap. and unlike most dog treats these days, it’s not made in China.