Oboy, oboy, oboy — the route of the 2011 Tour de France is announced today and there’s an Apple proclamation slated tomorrow. My cup runneth over.
Well, actually, not so much. I don’t give a shit about the TdF, other than as a source of income. Cav’ wins all the sprints, the Schlecks win all the [...]
Texus Maximus tries to make it all about him again, but alas, instead of riding the finale in some black Yankee-football-style kit ostensibly honoring the 28 million worldwide said to be living with cancer, The Boss and his bitches have to settle for wearing it while collecting the team prize, which nobody ever gave a [...]
Well, that was … unimpressive. Pretty Boy waits until 10km to go to “attack,” Super Spaniard rides his wheel to the line and gives him the stage win, all wrapped up with a pretty little bow on it, then it’s time for a hug. Ick. Bernard Hinault and Sean Kelly probably just threw up in [...]
This just in: Pretty Boy will attack Super Spaniard on the Col du Tourmalet.
Well, like, duh. That’s like calling a press conference to announce that Lennard Zinn is tall, or that Senate Repuglicans are assholes. Some things are self-evident.
I don’t have a dog in this fight. Still, tomorrow’s stage should be amusing. There’s talk of [...]
Yawn. A cease-fire in the Pyrénées as Radio Shackstrong gets sixth out of a nine-man break.
“Is this fucking thing over yet?” asked one of my colleagues. “They should be paying us to watch this shit.”
“They are,” I reminded him.
“Not enough,” he replied.
After a rest day, then, it’s the big boy — stage 17 to the [...]
Technology is not our friend. And neither is Super Spaniard, if your whizbang drivetrain happens to bite you in the ass while you’re sharing a mountain with him and he covets your pretty yellow shirt.
I don’t have a problem with Bertie latching onto Denis Menchov and Sammy Sanchez if they’re moving forward despite the yellow [...]
Another ho-hum stage in Le Tour. At one point on the final climb, Super Spaniard and Schleckalecka were practically track-standing, doing an Alphonse-and-Gaston number. I thought that at any moment they might actually leap off their bikes and dance the tango. It must be fun for the Astana boys to tow Contador all over France [...]
Watching all these dudes riding their bikes across France kinda makes me want to get out there, too. But by the time I’m through with my labors for VeloNews.com, it’s hotter than the hubs of Hell and I tend to lose interest in anything other than cold beverages.
I used to work the site with a [...]
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