When marketeers attack

In a continuation of its on-going strategy to become the global innovation leader in the bicycle-comedy market, Mad Dog Media (BIT: EM, E) today announced that its Biting the Hand That Feeds Us/Inside Jokes segment has launched a multi-faceted Worldwide Centers of Obfuscation program.

“Our vision is to create the most innovative and admired company in the bicycle-comedy marketplace, and to become a global leader, which is why the Mad Dog Media segment was established in the first place,” said Patrick O’Grady, Chief Cur and Head Hound of MDM’s Relentlessly Lampooning MarketSpeak® segment. “The strategy for transforming that vision into reality requires a unified, collaborative, and highly engaged workforce, relentlessly committed to innovation and supported by management in rapidly advancing the quality of the products and services we deliver.”

Toward that end, O’Grady said, he would be laying himself off effectively immediately and offshoring all cycling cartoons and commentary to a one-eyed goatherder with a closed head injury in Waxedstringandatincaninstan.

“I mean, hell, why not?” added O’Grady. “I’m too expensive. I need a whole bunch of shiny stuff and a roof to keep the rain off it, three hots and a cot, and top-shelf liquor. Plus I’ve spent the past three decades trying to learn how to write, but I just can’t make this sort of shit up — not sober, anyway. Maybe Abu bin Popeye can.”