Man, the roads in Holland were covered in Lycra and blood today. I think everybody fell off in stage 2 of the Giro d’Italia except Graham Watson. It was actually something of a snoozer until these guys started going down like Linda Lovelace.
Tyler Farrar fell off and still managed to win the sonofabitch. Funny, Farrar doesn’t sound Belgian. Meanwhile, Cadel Evans has the pink shirt, about three weeks too early.
And last but not least, it seems the Leadville Trail 100 is now a stage race. You need a bike for the first stage and a lawyer for the second.
The Flash and I have exactly one thing in common: red kit.
I really thought BMC’s Brent Bookwalter was going to hang on for the win in today’s Giro opener until I watched Sky’s Bradley Wiggins rippin’ those Amsterdam corners without coming off his aero’ bars. Hijo, madre, puto, cabron. Like the man says, you can’t win if you don’t play, and Wiggo’ is most definitely a player. Chapeau to him.
And chapeau to Bookwalter, too, for holding onto the hot seat as long as he did. “I am a little speechless — my head is still spinning a little bit,” Bookwalter said afterward. “I really had no expectations of doing a ride like that going into it.”
He even nipped his team captain, world road champ Cadel Evans, who gave Bookwalter an attaboy for the effort.
“It’s a very special situation to have a guy like Cadel come in to say, ‘Impressive ride,’ it really means a lot,” Bookwalter said. No doubt.
I have a soft spot for time trials. My first race was a TT — the Colorado time-trial championships on the old Strasburg course, back in 1987 or ’88 — and I actually won a couple as a masters racer, one in Colorado (the Skyline Drive TT) and the other in New Mexico (the Tour de Los Alamos).
Mostly I was bringing a knife to a gunfight, though. Kent Bostick and John Frey ruled the roost when I lived in New Mexico, covering the 40km Moriarty course in 48 minutes and under when I was lucky to duck under 57 minutes. And there were plenty of other dudes in both states who could (and did) make me look like a chump without even putting it in the big ring.
Even so, it was fun. Special equipment, skinsuit and helmet — a guy gets to feel like a comic-book superhero for an hour or less. What’s not to like?
What is this, the Giro d’Netherlands? How does one tour Italy beginning in Amsterdam? I suppose if you smoke enough hash in the red light district you might come to think you’re in Italy, but wouldn’t the windmills and wooden shoes spoil the illusion?
Today marks the kickoff to three very long weeks indeed in the VeloBarrel. The Giro starts today, followed by the Amgen Tour of California on the 16th, and VeloNews.com has a twitchy WordPress-based website (much like this one, only a money-maker) and a staff that you could fit into a Smart car, laptops and all. So don’t be surprised if posts during May are mostly short and pointlessly vitriolic.
Come to think of it, I guess it will be business as usual around here. God help us all.
Ho, ho. GOP State Sen. Dave Shitforbrains — er, Schultheis — is calling for a boycott of Boulder over that city’s decision to ban employee travel to Arizona based on the Grand Canyon State’s draconian immigration law.
The former Californicator turned Bibleburger, who has a history of talking out of his ass, says the People’s Republic is a veritable Mecca for Meskins, dope fiends and topless women and has a “history of looking the other way when it comes to enforcing the law.” Councilman Macon Cowles begs to differ.
“He obviously hasn’t tried to develop a piece of property here,” Cowles quipped.
If Colorado had more restrictive immigration laws, nitwits like Schultheis would be stuck back home in California, busily shitting all over their own nests instead of ours.
Senility — it’s just another termite-infested plank in the rotting Republican Party platform.
And now, for something completely different: The movie “Babies” is out today. Here’s a clip.
Oy. Busy, busy, busy. Another too-soon BRAIN deadline, a cartoon due for VeloNews, discussions with various VN.com types about the joys of CSS pre-Giro, chats with Adventure Cyclist management about further crimes against cyclo-tourism journalism — neither the rock nor that mountain is getting any smaller. Oh, the humanity.
And then there’s the god damned wind, which is pelting my snout with tree pollen. My skull feels like an overinflated tire on a very rocky road, and not even white dog helps. My backcracker has supplied me with various curative pills and potions but I’m not interested in experimentation until I get past these deadlines. No funny, no money. And then no backcracker.
The good news is, even with pollen-ravaged sinuses, a belly full of moonshine and a comedy well that has very nearly run dry, I’m not as retarded as Republican Dan Fanelli, who hopes to challenge Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) this year. Dude thinks only brown brings the crazy. He should try looking in the fucking mirror. Props to Steve Benen at Political Animal for the tip and the clip.
Mad Blog Media 