A blustery day

Snow on Pikes Peak
Just 'cause it's spring where you are doesn't mean it's spring at 14,110 feet.

Typical oddball Colorado weather today. Twenty degrees cooler than yesterday, a brief spell of popcorn snow from an otherwise blue sky, actual snow atop Pikes Peak, more of the winds from hell, and about umpty-ump pounds of tree pollen blasted straight up my snoot. Blaugh.

In other Bibleburg news, USA Cycling assumed the position — pardon me, assumed the UCI position — on race radios after initially deciding to allow squawk boxes in NRC events. That NastyGram® Paddy McQuaid sent must’ve really read out the old riot act, as in “IOC spank.” Don’t want to throw away your bucket while all that money is still spewing from the five-ringed faucet in downtown Bibleburg, don’t you know.

Who’da thunk race radios would end up being Dire Portents of the End Times, cycling-wise? Silly sods have been gobbling enough dope to bring Hunter S. Thompson back from the dead, mainlining each others’ blood bags and fleeing drug raids through hotel windows, and what finally does the job is Thor Hushovd’s inability to hear Jonathan Vaughters’ sideburns flapping in the breeze from an open window in the team Volvo.

Me, myself and I

Herself hopped back in the hamster wheel today, leaving Your Humble Narrator more or less at large, so I designated today Me, Myself and I Day.

The first rule of MM&I Day is: Do no work. So I didn’t. I spent the morning hiking and the afternoon biking, and if you overlook the 25-to-50-mph winds it was all pretty damn’ fine.

I ran across a few mountain bikers during the two-wheeled leg and they roundly congratulated me for being stupid enough to ride 700c wheels on single-track. Happily, they didn’t see how badly I was doing it. I managed to clean a couple simple bits just as they spotted me. Then I waited for them to roll off before I got back to spazzing out.

Once I tired of failing to impress myself with my mad skillz I rolled home to check on our baby war, which has many fathers but no daddy. The Euros’ are pissing all over each others’ shoes, the Arab League seems to think that creating a no-fly zone means politely asking Gadaffy to park his air force, and the prez sez that once we’ve popped off a few thousand half-million-smacker cruise missiles we’ll just step the fuck off and let someone else do the heavy lifting. The Republicans, natch, are calling him a pansy.

Like watching the sun rise in the east, that is. Obama couldn’t make that lot happy if he promised them free blowjobs and beer for eternity. “Mind the teeth, and we’d like a hoppier IPA!” Jesus wept. But at least they’ve shut the fuck up about the deficit for a nanosecond. Jillions for bombs, but not one rusty penny for butter. If the lottery were as predictable I’d be able to buy Washington, D.C., and evict all these pompous peckerheads.

Home is where the hardtail is

Voodoo Nakisi
Fat tires and drop bars — does it get any better than this?

Y’know, beaches are swell and volcanoes nifty, but there’s definitely something to be said for spending the first day of spring noodling around some familiar single-track on 700c wheels.

Palmer Park was packed, so I had to yield trail quite a bit — mountain bikers, dawdling hikers, one kid on horseback, led by her parents — but it was all good. Everyone was in a chatty mood, nobody was a dick, and Monday doesn’t come until tomorrow. I didn’t even fall off or anything, which always adds to the enjoyment.

As I waited for one pack of mountain bikers to clear a section one grinned, shouted “Crazy cyclo-crosser!” and slapped me on the shoulder as he passed.

“No brain, no pain,” I agreed before clipping in and carrying on.

Big Island holiday

Since it seems more or less like the VeloNews.com setup, I thought I’d test-drive the free-version WordPress gallery tool with a few more shots from our Big Island getaway. Click a thumbnail and you get a larger photo with caption, plus the ability to navigate fore and aft throughout the gallery.

So in case you feel the need for a getaway from whatever’s crawling up your butt — airstrikes in Libya, dope fiends on bicycles or eejits in DeeCee — pull on your grass skirt, add a coconut brassiere and prepare to get lei’d.

The art of sportswriting

Sunset on Herself's birthday
Here's another Hawaii shot — of the sunset on Herself's birthday as seen from the lanai of our rental house.

Matt Goss won a pretty damn’ exciting edition of Milan-San Remo today, pipping Fabian Cancellara and Philippe Gilbert in an eight-man dash to the line.

I watched the last couple hours of the race via streaming video, courtesy of La Gazzetta dello Sport, and once again was left wondering just how much longer print-and-pix websites are going to be able to keep hold of their readers. I mean, how are you gonna keep ’em down on the old Velo-farm when a guy can watch the entire race online — attacks, counters, crashes and all?

An unimpressive bit of popular fiction I was reading during vacation contained an interesting aside about sportswriters. The author, a former journo’, had a cop-shop reporter say that the sports guys had to be pretty good writers because their readers had already seen the televised events they were describing a day late and a dollar short. It took that little something extra to hold the fans’ interest, and the sportswriters had it.

Looks like our gang is gonna have to ramp it up a notch or two. Or three. I’m too old, cantankerous and unskilled to go looking for work, especially since I don’t particularly want to find it.

• Late update: I just noticed that there were all of two Americans in today’s race — George Hincapie (22nd) and Tyler Farrar (46th). Where the hell is everybody else, racing industrial-park crits in Boulder?

• Later update: Oh, goody, another war. A day without war is like a day without sunshine. The 3rd Brigade grunts who just got back to Fort Cartoon must be delighted. A fresh desert to fight in, don’t you know.