Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been … well, actually, since I’m neither Catholic nor a fink, I’ve never confessed. Ever. You want to pin something on me, you better have three eyeball witnesses, videotape and my prints on whatever.
But I digress.
So I’m in this Bibleburg record-and-video store, which shall remain nameless — hey, I told you, I’m no stool pigeon, OK? — and I’m browsing the stacks, trying to find something to watch in the absence of Herself, who is living la vida loca with a girlfriend in Santa Fe whilst I ride herd on the menagerie and rassle various velo-gators for bicycle magazines.
Anyway, I’m scanning the science-fiction section and what do I come across? “The Ten Commandments.” As in the Cecil B. DeMille classic about Moses leading the Israelites out of bondage in Egypt. The Ten Fuckin’ Commandments. In the science-fiction section.
So, Father, what I want to know is this:
Am I going to Hell for laughing my ass off?
Mad Blog Media 
If you are, then I am too! I hope you took a photo.
Wish I could have, but the flick was too far from the tab indicating content. Mr. DeMille would have had trouble shooting that one. Yahweh too. Well, maybe not. …
WWPD – I Yam, that I Yam.
And that is all that I Yam.
The last I checked, “Thou shall not laugh at irony” is not one of them, so I think you’re going to be all right (at least for THIS infraction).
I’m thinking it’s just one more hash mark on my fiery sleeve.
Maybe not hell, but as your doctor, I advise that you steer clear of any church you might run across – you know, just in case… Oh, and a word about lightning storms: lay low, stay indoors. Again, just to be on the safe side…
Dodging churches in Bibleburg is tougher than dodging Dodges. But I guess I should at least dispense with the traditional Bibleburgian headgear, the tinfoil beanie. Excellent conductor.
I’d leave the tin foil beanie in place. Given that lightning is jumping across a several mile long air gap, it’s not going to make much difference, especially if The Big Guy is hurling the bolts. Besides, the tin foil yarmulke can always be tucked under your Fort Wayne Tin Caps baseball hat for extra protection. (I’m not making that up – http://fortwayne.tincaps.milb.com/index.jsp?sid=t584)
Just drink some cheap wine!
I’m banking on Father being a good bit more understanding than your typical Evangelical Christian.
Yeah…and what Andy said!
Hey it’s Torah (old testament) who cares what those late comers think.
In Bibleburg? Heck (taking no chances of guilt by association here), I thought it would be in the Documentary section.
I can remember being shipped off in a bus by the local branch of the child-molesters to watch that movie when it first came out! There were weekly saturday morning brainwashing sessions for most of my grammar school years. I always thought there was something odd about the altar boys – little did I know what it might have been. If Jeebus is up there in heaven looking down upon us, why has he not destroyed all these so-called Christians who use his name to cover so many greedy and nefarious deeds? I’ll use David R’s advice for OG too.
It was obviously a mistake to file it in the Science Fiction section. Clearly, it belongs in the Fantasy Section… 😉
Who am I, and why am I in this handbasket?
You’re in that handbasket because it looks like a shitload more fun that outside the handbasket.
In one of life’s biggest ironies, a large percentage of the law suits in the ’90s and ’00s was over, not actual 10C monuments but movie propaganda.