Month: August 2012

Robot-Zombie 2012

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 20 Comments

The RomneyBot v2.012 has picked Charlie Pierce’s “zombie-eyed granny-starver,” Paul Ryan, to be its running mate. And as usual, Mr. Pierce nails both the timing of the announcement and what it means.

Meanwhile, the fine folks at Political Animal remind us of Ryan’s pedigree and plans for us:

• Ed Kilgore says the RomneyBot’s choice “makes the task of exposing Mitt Romney’s agenda for the future of the country — already mortgaged to the conservative movement as the price of his nomination — vastly easier.”

• Ryan Cooper revives Jonathan Chait’s profile of the ZEGS in New York magazine.

• And James Fallows, writing for The Atlantic, calls it a “good” choice, but reminds the press corps to avoid terming Ryan’s crackpottery “serious.”

Over at The Maddog Blog, meanwhile, PA alum Steve Benen says the RomneyBot’s pick means voters will be voting not on whether the Obama administration has been a success, but on the right-wing ass-hattery of the Robot-Zombie “vision.”

And at Mother Jones, David Corn says Ryan is the GOP vice-presidential candidate of Obama’s dreams.

Myself, I’d caution against overconfidence in the analytical ability of the American electorate, which has shown a disturbing hunger for the taste of bullshit in recent election cycles. Plenty of people heehawed at the notion of a faux-redneck trouser stain from Texas making it to the White House, as you may recall.

More as I unearth it.

Training for his urine test

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 4 Comments

Color me cynical, but I do believe Belgian trackie Gijs Van Hoecke will test positive for tonsil polish — that is, if he has any fluids remaining inside his body for testing purposes.

The Belgian federation shitcanned Van Hoecke from the 2012 Olympics after the Limey scandal sheet The Daily Mail ran pix of Olympians leaving a London club earlier this week. The sopping wet, sleepily smiling 20-year-old was snapped as his mates fetched him to a waiting cab, the driver of which I trust they tipped handsomely.

Van Hoecke issued an apology of sorts in a chat with RTBF television. “What happened is a pity. I am sorry, this should not have happened,” he said. “But I also think that after two years of relentless work, I have the right to let my hair down.

“It would have been better if it had not happened here in London. I chose the wrong moment. Having said that, it was outside the Olympic Village, I wasn’t disturbing other athletes, they didn’t say anything about it.”

Word. I wonder how many esteemed Daily Mail scribes have had to be carried from pubs to cabs after concluding their little bit of business at day’s end.

Attack of the Democrats

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 11 Comments

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

The prez popped in for a chat today, and a sizable crowd of Bibleburgers seemed happy to see him despite the astonishing disrespect shown for the Second Amendment by his security team. Why, the only people packing heat were the heat. Imagine my astonishment. Where’s Ron Paul when you need him?

The speech itself was basic campaign boilerplate, but it went over pretty well, especially considering we’d spent about four hours broiling under an August sun while waiting to catch Obama’s act. A small army of volunteers was passing out water to the masses, though my requests for three fingers of Chamucos with a beer back went unanswered.

It was quite a crowd infesting Cutler Quad at Colorado College. Blacks, Asians, honkies and Hispanics; old, young and in between; gay, straight and in between; haves and “waiting to haves.” While waiting for the prez to crank it up we chatted with a black Vietnam vet and his German secretary, a Buddhist who sits thrice weekly with three different sanghas, and (of all things) one of Herself’s friends from elementary school back in Maryland.

If there were any pro-Romney hecklers in the bunch I didn’t hear them. It was a fine departure from the horrid discourse one reads in the public prints. Strangers were passing water to each other, sharing the few bits of shade and taking care that everyone had a chance to see the famous tyrannical Kenyan crypto-Muslim socialist usurper in the flesh so they could scope out the horns and that big 666 on his forehead.

Frankly, there’s something reassuring about seeing that many fellow travelers packed into one place like red herrings in a tin. I caught more than one person giving another that appraising glance that says, “Oho, so you’re one too, eh?” Makes it easier to keep plugging along, knowing you’re not the only round peg in a town full of square holes.

Democrats sighted in Bibleburg; film at 11

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments

That coffee-colored fella from Washington DeeCee, Barack Hussein Obama, the fabled Kenyan Muslim socialist Antichrist who’s gonna snatch up all our guns and give ’em to the United Nations, the North American Man/Boy Love Association and The New York Times, will be addressing the Democratic hordes of Bibleburg tomorrow, and Your Humble Narrator and Herself will be among those in attendance.

Tickets were free, but had to be picked up in advance, and since much of bright-red Bibleburg still calls Abraham Lincoln a RINO for freeing the slaves I figured this would be about as tough a hustle as scoring duckets for a N.W.A. reunion concert in Branson, Missouri.

There were two pickup spots. The first was Colorado College, the site of tomorrow’s presidential address and an easy walk or bike ride from Chez Dog. The other was the Obama for America office up north in Briargate, a 20-minute drive at the best of times — and the announced pickup time of 5 p.m. is never the best of times. The rule of thumb in these parts is never head north on Interstate 25 after about 3 p.m. unless you really, really, really like your car, especially its first gear.

Herself was working in Denver and motored straight to the Briargate location for her ticket, and what with the honkified north end of town being Romney country she was in and out in a flash. I chose the Colorado College location, an easy five-minute trip by bike, and stood in line for about an hour and a half with a couple thousand of my deeply blue brethren and sistren. Another real-world proof of the Larry’s Wife Theorem®.

This afternoon I took the Vespa for a spin past CC en route to the Colorado Farm and Art Market for a passel of Doug Wiley’s Larga Vista Ranch pasture-raised pork and the security types have the place fenced off in a fashion that would make an Arizona Minuteman smile, until he remembered why.

Tomorrow we’ll ride our bikes down to CC to catch the prez in person. I don’t believe I’ve seen an occupant of the Oval Orifice in corpus since LBJ visited Randolph AFB when I was a sprout. Should be interesting. I’ll have a couple cameras and the iPhone; maybe I can post a little sumpin’-sumpin’ from the scene.