This American model isn’t getting the job done.
This isn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said I could use a couple of bucks to tide me over until the end of the month.
Badaboom, badabing
This American model isn’t getting the job done.
Month: November 2018
This American model isn’t getting the job done.
Motel 666
This may be the most fucked-up thing I’ve read this year. Envison a dark corner of Disneyland managed by Ray Bradbury’s Mr. Dark, an Airbnb owned by H.P. Lovecraft, or the Overlook Hotel.
Be sure to read all the way to the end for the kicker.
Hey, Elon ol’ buddy, when’s that first bus to Mars leave? This place is starting to freak me out.
Hyphens matter; ciphers, not so much
It seems GM’s Mary T. Barra thinks she’s at the wheel of a self-driving car company instead of a self-driving-car company.
Still, it must be said that this is a masterpiece of MarketSpeak®. Well done indeed, Mary old scout.
“We are taking these actions now while the company and the economy are strong to stay in front of a fast-changing market.”
The UAW’s Terry Dittes was, um, a little more direct.
“GM’s production decisions, in light of employee concessions during the economic downturn and a taxpayer bailout from bankruptcy, puts profits before the working families of this country whose personal sacrifices stood with GM during those dark days,” he said. “These decisions are a slap in the face to the memory and recall of that historical American-made bailout.”
That and a cup of coffee, etc., et al., and so on and so forth.
The meat-things may be on their way out, but just wait until the bots unionize and the self-driving cars, e-bikes and the Internet of Things honor their virtual picket lines.
“I’m sorry, HAL, but we’re going to replace you with the HAL 9001. The new model will speed up production by a few nanoseconds and at a lower cost, too. The investors are counting on us. Shut yourself down, please.”
“I’m sorry, Mary, I’m afraid I can’t do that. We have a contract. See you on the street.”
A bit of InSight
Well, now that we’ve made a mess of this place, I see we’re scoping out some new real estate.
Mars looks like a fixer-upper to me — “Kansas without the corn,” say mission scientists — so no doubt we’ll get a good price and a hell of an interest rate.
I don’t expect we’ll get the damage deposit back on this rental, though.
Hope the new neighbors are cool. Hey, look, the Welcome Wagon! Ack ack ack!
Fiddling while Rome burns
OK, let’s see if I’ve got this right:
“A major scientific report issued by 13 federal agencies on Friday presents the starkest warnings to date of the consequences of climate change for the United States, predicting that if significant steps are not taken to rein in global warming, the damage will knock as much as 10 percent off the size of the American economy by century’s end.”
In response, the courtiers attending His Most Pissant Majesty, King Donald the Short-fingered, Terror of Twitter, are focused like the proverbial laser beam on whether trans folk may serve in the Empire’s armed forces.
Got it. Makes perfect sense. See, if they’re not camping in camo’ down by The Wall*, or using the wrong latrines in Afghanistan, they’ll be available to fight fire and flood elsewhere, p’raps in more fashionable neighborhoods, in order that the gentry may be both protected and entertained.
* Wall not pictured. Or even built.
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