The Wizards of WordPress finally checked their Palantír and noticed they’d failed to respond to my feeble pleas for succor, or as some jaded customer-service types call it, “Sucker.”
But respond they finally did, yesterday. And thus, as your reigning Prelate of Punditry, I bear their scriptures to you, my congregation.
First, since the comments issue seems to affect different users (Mac, Windows, Firefox, Safari) in different ways, the duty wizard suggested that those of you experiencing technical difficulties “post in our public support forums to get help troubleshooting [your] setups.”
Adding a “modlook” tag to your post on forums.wordpress.com will add it to the staff queue for that team, quoth the wizard via email.
Now, I realize this may be a bridge too far for some of yis who are moved occasionally to rattle-can a little snark onto Your Humble Narrator’s virtual railroad trestle. And in any event, crossing it might not lead you to a brave new commenting world.
Because the duty wizard added that the the blog’s theme, like its operator, “is very old and no longer compatible” with many browser setups.
“There are more modern themes that still stay true to the simplistic aesthetic of Kubrick,” the wizard added, suggesting that I search WP’s theme park for a new one with tags like “blog,” “author,” “technophobe,” “senile old hack,” “gibbering eejit,” “Stone Age scribbler,” “nursing-home newsletter,” or “STFU.”
(Actually, the wizard only pitched the first two tags. But hey, it’s my blog and I’ll lie if I want to, lie if I want to, lie if I want to — you would lie too if it happened to you.)
Ordinarily when someone suggests “It’s not us, it’s you,” I snort and holler, “Boooooooosheeyit!” But I’m inclined to buy what this wizard is selling because I’m rocking some seriously old gear here and have been noticing my own technical difficulties doing bits of this, that, and the other in my journeys throughout the Innertubes.
I mean, c’mon: A 2014 MacBook Pro running macOS Mojave 10.14.6? Sure, 16 GB of memory and plenty of room yet on the old internal drive, but still, we’re talking Safari 14.1.2 here. That dog’s so old it won’t hunt WP’s theme park for some of the newer possibilities. Just staggers around the gate sniffing and pissing on the bars.
So, we may be looking at a prolonged period of “upgrades” here at Ye Olde Dogge Pounde. OS. Browser. WP theme. Etc. Get ’er up there on the lift, Skeeter. Sweet holy motherfuck, what we got here? Git a bucket under that! And fetch my .22 wheelgun, something’s built a nest in there. Do Duck! City woodrats have eight eyes?
My plan, such as it is, is to experiment with new themes using an old blog, rather than risk the Main Attraction, which goes all the way back to November 2008. I keep a couple-three shuttered shops in the old unreal-estate portfolio just in case this sort of nightmare ever reared its ugly head(s).
More as I learn it. Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. A Misery Engineer will be with you shortly. Your wait time is currently …. beeeeeeeeeep.
Mad Blog Media 
Now that is a proper rant! Print it out, put a stamp on it, and snail mail it to the CEO of whatever who owns the old wordpress. That’ll teach them sumbitches.
Meanwhile, I will just show up at psobrien, and I will type my real name at the end of my comment. I can’t stand this shit no more. Pat O’Brien
Perhaps also FUBAR?
I shall look forward to gravitating with you into the singularity. In the mean time I’m going to enjoy the view from the event horizon.
Also; My black bike says to tell your man of steel bike that the casing stretching exercises work well especially now that the cooler Fall weather is approaching.
No posting problems here but I am still waiting for my last $100 WordPress royalty check.
Excellento.
Reminds me of a song. A bucket of old Apples maybe? Pat O’Brien
Pat, who is the musician singing Dylan’s song? The scenery in the background (stunted Black Spruce) reminds me of one of my homes.
Good apples yum!
Hi Shawn. That’s Toni Lindgren. She plays and tours sometimes with Joshua Turner. I think the video was takes on a trip to Alaska.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXoPP_wiMrp1xkHpQnpbt-Q
Well, I’ve been surfing the available themes with the goal of croaking our comments issue, and I can’t say that any of ’em really blow my kilt up.
The best of the lot appear to be Independent Publisher 2 and Penscratch 2. But dropping Kubrick for one of these may cause me to lose the colorful banners I stack atop the old DogPile here, though p’raps I can substitute a smallish logo of some sort.
This may not be a problem for anyone who accesses the blog primarily by phone or tablet — most of the themes seem aimed at mobile users — but I’m usually on a 15-inch MacBook and have gotten used to having them big ol’ banners around. I have dozens of ’em now.
All this being said, I’m told that change can be a good thing. Mostly by vulture capitalists and editors hoping to rid themselves of a problem child, it’s true. But still. …
Thoughts?
I am satisfied with the comments as is.
And, “any of ‘em really blow my kilt up” is golden!
“Thank you for contacting a misery experience specialist. Here’s your hat, what’s your hurry?”
Yes, great rant, Mr O’G. A classic. Keep on keepin’ on.
(Now let’s see if I can get this puppy properly posted.)
My associate it Budapest indicated to me a rumor that WP has hired a violin string quartet just for your phone calls to them.
The Wizards of WordPress must’ve dispensed with all the other angry hobbits chucking empty ale bottles at their Fortress of Blogitude, because I’ve recently had a couple pleasant chats with the Happiness Division.
The first alternate theme I’ve been test-driving seems to have a couple orcs under the hood, chewing on the wiring. For openers, it lies to me about the size of the custom header it will accept. Also, while I’m able to work a lot of its aspects in my favored tool, the Classic Editor, the sonofabitch defaults to the Block Editor (curse its name, yes) when I try to edit widgets in the right-hand sidebar.
So this theme is probably a non-starter. I have one other to explore before I decide to abandon the Quest and stick to this ol’ warhorse until it topples over. More as I learn it.
I’m told that Gutenberg had similar problems when he unleashed the printing press ….. not to mention ensured that, over time, others beyond royalty and the Church, could actually begin to learn and educate themselves. Think of the consternation and “fear of extinction” that engendered in the “knowing and educated”!! 🙂