Our long national nightmare is … only just beginning?
We finally have a Shaker of the Hose, a God-botherer, election denier, and Sniffer of the Orange Farts who has never held a significant leadership position in the U.S. House of Reprehensibles. Until now, that is.
Sounds about right. Let the Games commence.
“Sorry, Tommy, looks like you don’t get to be Squeaker after all. The mice won’t have it.”
“We need to get to work for the American people. We need to get a Speaker as soon as possible. So instead of doing that I’m going to force vote after vote on my doomed wank-fest of a candidacy until whatever remains of the Marginally Sane Wing of the Republican Party hires undisputed WWE Universal Champion Roman Reigns to yank my head off and place it in a glass jar to be displayed at the House Rostrum as a warning to other self-serving sociopathic bomb-throwing nihilists who couldn’t pass a bill if it were taped to a football but nonetheless might seek the gavel.”
I’m starting to think Thor couldn’t pick up this hammer.
This one goes out to the House GOP.
Gym Gollum (R-Wrestlemania) may not be getting his Precious after all.
The wizards in DeeCee hint darkly that his high-pressure tactics — enlist an army of orcs and goblins to screech at various members of the House of Reprehensibles, their families, friends, and house pets — did not constitute what we in the rasslin’ game call “a submission hold.”
Asked for comment, a spokescreature for Sauron the Terrible hissed: “It’s the Cracks of Doom for this bozo. He could fuck up a One Ring circus.”
Mad Blog Media 