There is no truth to the rumor that Bashar al-Assad resigned as president of Syria to become CEO of UnitedHealthcare.
Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. (Cue Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.”)
Help (still) wanted
There is no truth to the rumor that Bashar al-Assad resigned as president of Syria to become CEO of UnitedHealthcare.
Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. (Cue Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.”)
Mad Blog Media 
The Middle East is easy to understand, if you think of Venn Diagrams.
It’s me against my brother.
Me and my brother against the world.
Me and my cousin against my half-brother, his useless step-dad, and his high school buddies who never emotionally left 10th grade.
My brother and his dealer against everyone over 30
My and my buddy Eddie against TicketMaster
Me and Preston Tucker against Ford, Putin, and the Lada.
And most importantly, Star-bellied Sneetches against OGWGFITW.
Are those diagrams or bullet holes? In any event, nice tight pattern. …
You know, that is a good Venn diagram. Two circles overlap. One circle is “Opening at UHC, for executive who acts in own self-interest, with no care for how it affects the health of tens of millions of people.” The other circle is “Proven history of acting in one’s self-interest, with no care for how it affects the health of tens of millions.” and right in the middle, in the overlap is Bashar Al-Assad. I hear Russia is granting telework visas……
I’ve seen a lot of posts on that intellectual wasteland known as X/Twitter cheering for the guy who offed the United Healthcare boss. Until we know why he did it, I am not on that bandwagon. Probably would not be unless it was a damn good reason. Not to mention, what goes around, comes around. Gotta beef with someone? Plug him in the back of the head.
I think the biggest beneficiaries of this murder will be the Everytowns and Giffords out there. Already, it is all about “silencers” rather than the hit. Shit, it is about guns and people behind the trigger, not silencers. One rich guy gets offed and suddenly everyone notices.
This whole thing in Syria kinda reminded me of South Vietnam all over again. The ARVN managed to stave off defeat for a while after we left country. When it looked like serious trouble approaching, they did the Sir Robin act and hightailed it out of harm’s way.
Who the fuck would want to fight for Assad, anyway, if one had a choice. I’m a little surprised it took this long, but even the Iranians and Putin knew the jig was up.
Lotta hate for CEOs out there. I was slightly surprised to see the outpouring of Rage Against the Machine, frankly. But it is the Internet, and shitposting is about as revolutionary as we get these days.
Cutting off one head of the Hydra won’t git ’er done. The next dude was moving into that corner office before the body was cold. All the shooter accomplished was kicking a lot of new bidness to the executive-security complex.
Boy, did the press ever get caught with its desert-camo down on the Syria thing. Too busy penning prize-winners like “1984: The Year Pop Stardom Got Supersized” to notice all those Syrian tanks chewing up the highway to Damascus in reverse.
Shitposting is the main weapon in the New American Revolution. Then every once in a while someone picks up the Real Thing. That video was scary. The guy was cool, ruthless, and not a care in the world about getting shot. And uses a friggin’ city rental bike to get away! I bet the League of American Bicyclists won’t be using him on their web site.
I’ve been watching the Syrian thing and wondering if Assad’s army was going to collapse like a house of cards in a New Mexico spring windstorm. This took me by a bit of surprise. I thought the Assad folks would put up a bit of a fight but an army that realizes it has nothing worth fighting for, and a lot to lose (like one’s life), said “adios, Dear Leader, you are on your own”.
Let’s see if Putin uses him well. My guess is he will rapidly outwear his welcome. But who knows. The world is….weird.
I wonder if Assad brought the treasury with him. Pooty-poot has been flushing troops and treasure down the Ukrainian rathole for the better part of quite some time and could probably do with a little cash infusion right about now.
Shit, maybe they’ll both beat it to Epstein Island. What a buddy movie that would make. No, I don’t wanna watch.
Well, he is an ophthalmologist and knows something about chemicals. Maybe we can get him to take Kennedy’s place in the cabinet?
Well at least he knows something about “the vision thing,” amirite? (rimshot)
Well, well, well, Head Bashing Bashir has left the building, made his way to Moscowland. Why be CEO of UnitedHealthCare when you can drive a decrepit Soviet era snowplow in Siberia.? Or maybe be a Putin vatnik on the front lines against Ukraine. Help is needed, so the rumors go. But I keep hearin’ those N. Koreans are spending all their time watching Pornhub and ordering AstroGlide, from AMAZON no less. Dictators just don’t get it. But Muammar Gaddafi-duck “got it.” Right up the ol’ wazoo. Top dog today, swinging from a rope tomorrow. Ask Saddam’s cat. – https://www.primogif.com/p/kA2wEhUk3R6Te
https://www.primogif.com/p/kA2wEhUk3R6Te
Apparently, there is talk of establishing a single-payer system in New York State.
https://www.riverdalepress.com/stories/new-york-health-act-aims-to-end-health-care-costs-with-single-payer-system,158110
“Single-payer.” Does that mean fewer execs to shoot?