Month: June 2025

Taking care of business

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 10 Comments
“What, you think I’m some sort of putz like that Trump character?”

Well. Seems the Israelis went and stole some of the pomp and circumstance from Der Trumpenführer’s little parade.

Saturday’s expensive, theatrical pud-pulling in DeeCee will soon be forgotten, even by fanboys, late-show wiseguys, and meme-makers. But people will be talking about what Israel just did to Iran for the better part of quite some time.

Discussing the differences between preemptive strikes and preventative war in The Atlantic, Tom Nichols likened the Israeli decapitation of the Iranian military’s chain of command to Michael Corleone’s settling of the family business near the end of “The Godfather.”

But Trump is straight out of Jimmy Breslin’s “The Gang That Couldn’t Shoot Straight.” A guy who, like Kid Sally Palumbo, couldn’t even promote a bicycle race worth a damn.

Remember the Tour de Trump? Yeah, neither does anyone else. That little Tour de France thing he promised to topple is still ticking along nicely, though.

He kept his big bazoo shut for hours after the Israeli strikes on Iran — yeah, I know, Fatso keeping it buttoned sounds like fake news to me, too — and when he finally got medicated enough to fart out a few syllables they were all about “deals,” as if the existential Israeli-Iranian saber dance on the razor’s edge of Armageddon were just another real-estate pitch.

You want a bomb shelter with that casino? There will be a small additional charge.

Kristi Kremed

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments
“Senator, schmenator, assume the position, wiseguy.” Photo: Etienne Laurent (AP)

Sen. Alex Padilla (D-Calif.) took one for the team today, disrupting a presser by Kristi Kreme and getting the bum’s rush from her goon squad.

An old campaigner who was a field rep for Sen. Dianne Feinstein, and the son of Mexican immigrants, Padilla had to know exactly what he was doing when he acted out for the cameras — most of which, typically, remained focused on Reichstag Barbie as he got hustled out of the room.

Nevertheless, he found an audience, both in the press and at the Senate, where many Viewed With Alarm. Well, a little less than half of the senators, anyway. Outraged Democrats took to the Senate floor to deliver more than a few “Harumphs!”

I mean, my man didn’t light up a Waymo or nothin’.

The bar is mos def getting lowered. Either that or lifted, and aimed at some uptown noggins instead of the rabble downtown in L.A., ese.

R.I.P., Brian Wilson

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
A classic.

Now it’s dark. And he’s alone. But he won’t be afraid. Peace to Brian Wilson, his family, friends, and many, many fans.

Give us your favorite Beach Boys tunes in comments. This is one of mine.

For some reason I had “I Get Around” stuck in my head the other day. Maybe because I did. Always looking for a place where the kids were hip.

Cowabunga!

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 16 Comments

Hey, kids, why should L.A. have all the fun?

If your idea of “fun” is having Cadet Bonespurs go all Rolling Thunder on you for having an overly noisy barbecue, that is.(Sorry, Waymo.)

“Let a hundred Stooges bloom!” as our Dear Wiseguy, Chairman Moe, has taught us. While that fat toddler plays with his (our!) Army men in DeeCee this Saturday, there will be a No Kings rally in The Duck! City. And judging by the map of scheduled events there is probably one in your neck of the peckerwoods, too.

No torches, no pitchforks — just a nationwide woo woo woo woo woo. A virtual finger-poke in that toddler’s piggy little eyes.

If he tries to get tough we’ll break out the big guns: The Groucho Marxists.

And remember, kids — when you’re smashing the State, keep a smile on your lips and a song in your heart:

Hello … you must be going. You cannot stay, I came to say, you must be going. It was a shame you ever came, you best be going. …