Archive for the ‘Agitprop’ Category

We deliver for you

April 12, 2018

Soon to be thrown through a major White House window.

I dunno why Orange Julius Caesar is going after Amazon and the U.S. Postal Service.

People are gonna read that James Comey book even if they have to go to an actual bookstore and pick it up themselves.

Here’s your hat, there’s the door . . .

April 11, 2018

Don’t let the door hit ya where the good Lord split ya, bub.

Lyin’ Ryan is fixin’ to hit the door running, say The Atlantic, The Washington Post. and The New York Times.

No doubt the Squeaker of the House wishes to spend more time with the family. The Gambinos, perhaps, since the Trumps have proven to be heavy lifting for a fellow with a spine of Jell-O.

I guess it’s true what they say: When the going gets tough, the tough get going. I mean, just look at him go!

Hail to the Queef

April 10, 2018

Meltdown much?

The president will see you now.

So this lawyer walks into a bar. …

April 9, 2018

Just another working girl. | Photo on loan for the purposes of satire and parody from the New York Post.

It’s simple, really. Like the rest of us, the FBI simply wants to know:

Did he have to put the $130,000 in her G-string, one buck at a time?

The lizard kings

April 9, 2018

Scott Pruitt and Mick Mulvaney enjoying a good laugh at our expense.

“Drain the swamp,” my large, pale, Irish-American arse.

Why, it’s gotten so swampy up there in DeeCee that even the alligators are wearing alligator shoes.

Cthulhu 2020

March 23, 2018

Look for Cthulhu to run for president in 2020 on the No Lives Matter ticket.

Asked why he turned down an appointment as national-security adviser, NecronomiCom CEO Cthulhu replied, “What,  I should work for a lesser evil? See you in New Hampshire.”

 

Losing Face(book)

March 20, 2018

“No sir, I don’t like it.”

Mr. Horse was nobody’s fool. I bet he never signed up for a Facebook account. You may argue that this is because he’s a cartoon character, but then so is Il Douche, and he’s all over Twitter. There, I’ve run rings around you logically.

A status update from Mike Keefe at the Colorado Independent.

Over at Wired, Brian Barrett argues that Facebook “has been a poor steward of your data, asking more and more of you without giving you more in return — and often not even bothering to ask. It has repeatedly failed to keep up its side of the deal, and expressed precious little interest in making good.”

And at CNET, Sharon Profis goes a step further, recommending that users cash out of Mark Zuckerberg’s casino, and showing them how to do it.

I croaked my Facebook account some time back after not using it in a good long while, and I haven’t used Twitter since the new year began. Snapchat, Instagram and LinkedIn are likewise safely in the DogMobile’s rear-view mirror.

Some critics will sniff and observe that I’m simply antisocial, and what keen observers they are, too. But as Profis notes, there are plenty of other ways to stay in touch with friends (texting, email, chatting over a cup of coffee).

Why, you might even start a blog with all the free time you’ll suddenly be enjoying. Be sure to send us a link. No, not on Facebook.

• Late update: Want to erase yourself from the Internet? It ain’t easy, says Abby Ohlheiser.

• Even later update: At The Guardian, Arwa Mahdawi recommends deleting Facebook at the very least. “The recent revelations about Cambridge Analytica are an important wakeup call that we are all living with the sociopolitical consequences of surveillance capitalism. We are, I think, at a critical moment where the degree of corporate surveillance to which we are all subjected can either get much better, or much worse. So, I would urge you to extricate yourself from social media as much as you can.”

‘Go get the Roach!’

March 18, 2018

The tweetstorm continues without letup, nobody’s in command, and everyone’s just hunkering down in their holes, waiting for Roach Mueller to turn up with his M79.

Swamp things

March 15, 2018

To drain the swamp, one must become the swamp.
Or something like that.

A brief roundup as we circle the drain:

• Fake news: A truth deficit when it comes to trade.

• Brass balls? Nope, those are gold.

• I am the Walrus: Th’ hell is a walrus doing hanging around a swamp? I thought climate change was a Chinese hoax.

And now, the good news: That water bottle on your downtube? Turns out it’s the Fountain of Youth.

Capped

March 5, 2018

C’mon. You know somebody’s working on this. Probably .380 instead of .22LR with a Bluetooth trigger.

Hasta la Vista, baby?