Meandering and Miranda

June 1, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments

Elephant Rock, as seen from the bike trail near Palmer Lake.

It’s Bike Month here in Colorado (yeah, we’re off the back on a lot of things, including that). So, lacking official duties, I went for a nice 50-mile ride to Palmer Lake and back.

I rode the Nobilette and took the trail, and it was just about as perfect a day as could be. Just a wee bit of cross/head wind on the way out and mostly tail wind on the way home. Fat city. I celebrated with the leftovers from yesterday’s Memorial Day steak, spuds and broccoli feast and then treated myself to a short nap.

All good things must come to an end, of course. I awakened to find that yet another 5-4 majority of the Supremes has been chiseling away at the Miranda decision again. From The Washington Post:

Justice Sonia Sotomayor, in the sharpest dissent of her young career on the court, accused the majority of casting aside judicial restraint and creating a rule that marks “a substantial retreat from the protection against compelled self-incrimination” that Miranda established more than 40 years ago.

“Today’s decision turns Miranda upside down,” Sotomayor wrote. “Criminal suspects must now unambiguously invoke their right to remain silent, which, counterintuitively, requires them to speak.” She was joined by Justices John Paul Stevens, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen G. Breyer.

Well, boys, there you have it. When the deal goes down and the coppers have you in that windowless back room, give out with two quick sentences — “I ain’t sayin’ shit, and I want my lawyer” — and then shut the fuck up. Assuming you ever want to enjoy another glorious June outing on the bike, that is.

Ciao, Giro; forza, Dogs

May 30, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

The Giro d’Italia is finally in the record books, and now we have a month of relatively light lifting before the Tour de France kicks off in Rotterdam.

The finale, a 15km time trial in Verona, was something of a snoozer, since Ivan Basso could have pretty much run the course with his bike slung over one shoulder and still won the overall. But I got paid for watching it and posting news and information about it, so I have nothing to complain about.

Meanwhile, this just in from the Iron Horse Bicycle Classic: Bill “McBeef” Baughman finished 41st in Geezers 55-64 with a time of 3:03:45, trailed by Michael “Dr. Schenkenstein” Schenk, who crossed 63rd in 3:22:39. The Bride of Dr. Schenkenstein, Susan, took 24th in Geezerettes 45-54, finishing in 3:40:30.

Chapeau to all the Mad Dogs who made it to Silverton. I didn’t even make it out of the yard yesterday.

It’s a hard rain — and due to get harder

May 26, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 15 Comments

The celestial sprinkler system went off this afternoon.

It just pissed down rain like a mad bastard for about 15 minutes and now the sun is shining. Good work, Yahweh. Saved me from having to water the lawn.

Speaking of hard rains, the UCI has asked various national federations to look into Floyd Landis’ charges against, well, everybody. This comes on the heels of the news that BALCO gangbuster Jeff Novitzky is playing a direct role in a federal inquiry that may expand beyond dope-dealing charges and take up fraud and conspiracy raps, which carry more time in the graybar hilton.

Big Tex has trotted out the traditional boilerplate via the Radio ShackStrong website: “We understand that responsible anti-doping organizations and governmental agencies have an obligation to investigate allegations of wrongdoing, even when those allegations are baseless, incredible, and made by people with improper motives.

“At the same time, much of what has been reported in the press is false, sensational and unprofessional. If any governmental or anti-doping organizations conduct a proper investigation, Lance looks forward to once again being totally vindicated after a fair investigation.”

That’s a big if. There’s a lot going on in the world these days, and whether Big Tex and his cronies were applying more than shaving cream to their legs seems like a case of the sniffles next to, say, pestilence, war, famine and death.

Still, there’s some gold in them thar molehills. What ambitious miner wouldn’t want to be the guy who comes up with that big nugget clutched in his grimy fist, the one with the seven yellow stripes? But there’s a lot of hard digging ahead and the sparks are sure to fly as the picks start swinging. Don’t touch that dial.

Ryder on the storm

May 23, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 44 Comments

The Amgen Tour of California is finally over and done with, all praise to Cthulhu, may his (its?) tentacles grow ever longer. As tours go, it was not particularly captivating, but I did enjoy a couple of stages, including the last go-round of four in stage eight, the finale.

You have an untimely mechanical for defending champ Levi Leipheimer (RadioShack), U.S. national champion George Hincapie (BMC) off the front, Garmin-Transitions abso-fuckin’-lutely drilling it in the bunch for Dave Zabriskie, and a shitload of attacks from everybody and his grandmama on the final trip up to Mullholland Highway, all of which race leader Mick Rogers (HTC-Columbia) beats back all by his lonesome. Then a fast, scary descent to the finish with Garmin’s Ryder Hesjedal first across the line. Boo-yah.

Messy as hell, fun to watch, and if an Aussie won the overall and a Canuck the finale, so what? Tough shit. I like Aussies and Canucks. They’re kind of like Americans, only with bigger balls and better beer.

Now we can all go back to giving the Giro the attention it deserves. Anybody watch today’s stage? Count Vino’ looked like he was a quart low on the climb to Monte Zoncolan. Astana’s creature of the night finished fifth on the day at 2:26 behind Ivan Basso (yeah, no alarm bells there). Rainbow jersey Cadel Evans (BMC) was second at 1:19, and the difference between his climbing style and Basso’s was reminiscent of the Frazier-Ali fights.

Meanwhile, David Arroyo Duran (Caisse d’Epargne) still has the maglia rosa, but only in the sense that a clothes hanger holds a shirt until its proper owner slips it on. It’s a long way to the finale, with four more summit finishes en route.

Aged Beef

May 22, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady

Bill "Billy B." Baughman caught in a rare moment of surrender.

The notorious Bill “Billy B.” Baughman, a.k.a. Big Bill McBeef, was honored this evening at a reunion of his former cellmates who gathered over cheap wine and even cheaper jokes to recall their deep and often infectious relationship with the doddering old pervert in honor of what he claims is only his 60th birthday.

The highlight of the evening was this faded photograph of Billy B. surrendering to the authorities on a felony charge of Selling The Irish Weed Trimmers That Will Not Start Unless Billy B. Is Starting Them For You, You Drunken Mick, You. The snapshot was a keepsake provided by Patrick “Mad Dog” O’Grady, a former weed-trimmer customer and bunkmate who is believed to have been the first to “turn him out,” as the jailhouse parlance puts it.

“He got out in front of me on that weed-trimmer deal, but after that I only ever seed him from behind,” guffawed O’Grady, clapping Baughman on the back, which is yet another truly filthy and juvenile gag and one which goes just about as far as we need to take this particular line of humor this evening.

The truth is, Bill and I have spent a lot of time chasing each other around on bikes since the early 1990s, and if I only saw him from behind, well, it was because I could never catch the sprightly sonofabitch. A happy belated birthday to you, Bill, and may you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows you’re dead. Slainte.