Category: Bike stuff

Screwed again

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 22 Comments
Neither sealant nor lip balm will keep you rolling after you collect one of these bad boys in your tire.

You know what doesn’t give a shit about whether you have sealant in your tubes?

A big-ass screw, that’s what.

I collected this sonofabitch in the rear tire this morning at the bottom of the Tramway descent, just after I’d crossed under Interstate 25 and hung a left on the Pan American Freeway near Balloon Fiesta Parkway.

I heard a short clatter, then a “tick … tick … tick” that told me I’d picked up a hitchhiker, and so I pulled over to have a look-see.

“Th’ fuck’s this, a thumbtack?” I muttered, and then gave it a tug.

Spooge! Fwissssssssh. Phhbbbllllllllffff.

Seriously, it was like one of those volcano projects from junior high. Or Bluto’s zit imitation in “Animal House.”

And of course, it had to be the rear tire, on the Co-Motion Divide Rohloff, so called for the Rohloff hub on (wait for it) the rear wheel.

What are the chances of picking up something like this in a bicycle tire? If you’re me, 100 percent.

Did I mention the Gates belt? Yeah, it has one of those, too.

I don’t know that I’ve ever had to deal with a flat of any kind on this bike, which is a testament to its Geax AKA 29 x 2.0 tires. But this fucking screw might’ve given even Superman a hitch in his gitalong if he ever happened to be afoot in Albuquerque.

As I was, on a scorching Sunday morning, hoofing it along the shoulder of the Pan American, looking for a shady spot and trying to remember how to remove and replace the rear wheel on a Rohloff/Gates-equipped bike, a chore I last performed in a workstand at Chez Dog in Bibleburg back in … 2012?

Lucky me, I found a bus bench with a sun shade at Balloon Fiesta Parkway. And then I set about rooting through the ol’ mental hard drive.

Lessee here: Shift into 14th gear. Break out a nickel to loosen the thumbscrew holding the cable box to the hub. Remove the cable box. Open the quick-release lever. Remove the wheel. Bingo.

The bus bench had a convenient trash can that made an excellent workstand to hold the bike while I swapped tubes (just affix rear dropouts to rim of can).

Reinstalling the wheel proved a tad more challenging. Unlike a chain, a Gates belt isn’t a greasy mess. But it kept wanting to hop off the crank or the sprocket as I tried to mate hub with dropouts and brake rotor with calipers. Lacking a hammer, I was compelled to employ patience, which is always in short supply among the Irish.

After a few tries, the belt surrendered, I closed the QR, snapped the cable box back into place, screwed it down finger-tight in case I lost my nickel at the casino on the way back, and hey presto! I had all 14 gears and a slightly soft rear tire (about 30 psi, as it turned out, despite my best efforts with my thousand-year-old Blackburn minipump). That was enough to get home.

And a good thing, too, ’cause I only had the one spare tube. One more flat and it was the patch kit for Your Humble Narrator.

Now how’s that work again? Lessee here. …

What is hip?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 31 Comments

What a pain in the ass.

No joke. A couple hours after Monday’s short run and a bit of light resistance training I found myself in the hurt locker, with big pain in the right hip and a limp that would have done credit to a drunken pirate with a poorly made peg leg navigating a wet deck in heavy seas.

IT band? Hip flexor? Psoas? I suspect the latter, because I’d been having some low-grade back issues a couple of days previous. Anyway, being manly, and also stupid, I rode on Tuesday, and felt kinda-sorta OK on the bike, but not so much off it.

So I prescribed myself a couple days of rest, some ibuprofen, and a hefty dose of work on my Masi Speciale Randonneur review for Adventure Cyclist.

Just because I will never be smart doesn’t mean I have to keep being stupid.

The good news is, all this drew my attention away from the news, which is taking on overtones of a Jeffrey Dahmer-Ted Bundy buddy pic scripted by Josef Mengele and directed by the Marquis de Sade. That Dealie McDealio is up to his saggy man-boobs in some of the worst of it should surprise absolutely no one.

The late Jim Harrison noted more than once that politicians are prone to shitting through their mouths. And boy, am I ever glad I’m not paid to catalog every turd that falls from this fool’s face.

• Extra-Credit Tower of Power: The eternal question, and more, from NPR’s Tiny Desk.

Tour de Fence

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 17 Comments
The Sandias as seen from the bottom of Elena, near the casino.

My invitation to Le Tour having gone missing in the mail, I’ve been compelled to ride my own damn bikes around and about in the Duke City.

The high side of the circuit, before dropping down to casino country and then climbing back up.

Between outings I’ve checked in with my old Live Update Guy comrade Charles Pelkey, who is sending his daughter Annika off to Iowa today. She’ll be working for Mayor Pete. No word yet on which horse Chazbo is backing.

In other news, my man Casey B. Gibson did a little surprise gallery for that Boulder-based journal of competitive whatever whose name eludes me. Seems they needed pix from road nats in Tennessee, Casey had them, and that, as they say, was that. Money even changed hands, which is always nice when one is on the job.

Another member of the tribe, Andrew Hood, is the only one of us actually on the scene in France. It being a slow day (team time trial) I joggled his elbow for old times’ sake to see what’s what. No reply yet, because The Hoodlum is a total pro — on the clock, doing the beez-a-neez, and probably not even into the rosé yet.

Meanwhile, The Guardian is doing a live update this year, and it’s not half bad. They’re kicking the shit out of Cyclingnews. I may have to pass them a few of the millions I’ve banked from my stints at Live Update Guy.

De ’bate, boss! De ’bate!

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 14 Comments
Heading west on Meadow, which kicks off the mostly downhill run to Tijeras.

Welcome to “Fantasy Island,” with a side of “Survivor.”

A couple fantasies should get voted off the island after tonight’s Democratic “debate.”

I steeled myself for the ordeal yesterday by riding the New Mexico Touring Society’s Frost Road Loop, which was something of a spin down Memory Lane. It includes a few bits from the old state road championships circuit, where in 1991 Your Humble Narrator took second in the Masters 35 race after a late crash took out all of the serious contenders save for Laurence Malone (yes, that Laurence Malone).

Yesterday I finished first, Laurence Malone being elsewhere, along with everyone else. I’m still waiting for my gold medal, bouquet, and podium ceremony, though.

My take on the Frost Road Loop was a 40-mile round trip from El Rancho Pendejo, with a couple thousand feet of vertical gain, and it made for a nice change of pace from my usual rides, though NM 14 is under construction through much of Cedar Crest, the Old Route 66 shoulder was slathered in debris and gravel past Zuzax and Tijeras, and the wind — de wind, boss, de wind! — was much in evidence on the homebound leg because I got the traditional late start.

I think we had a little pollen-and-smoke action going on, too, because the snotlocker and eyeballs were grumbling a bit afterward. Not as much as they will be tonight, though. This “debate” is liable to be hard on the nose, eyes and ears.

El Gran Furúnculo

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 17 Comments
I ride this …
… so I can get to this.

Hijo, madre. I had forgotten that the inaugural GFNY Fanta Se is mañana.

Looks like it uses some of the old Sangre de Cristo Cycling Club Championship course in addition to the Santa Fe Hill Climb course.

And it sure should be interesting, given the amount of climbing, the quality of the air this weekend, and the temperament of the local motorists more or less year-round.

I’ll take a page from “The Milagro Beanfield War” on this one: “I’m not saying it’s good, I’m not saying it’s bad. Let’s just wait and see what happens.”

Just ’cause it’s Sunday doesn’t mean drivers will have Jesus in their hearts.

Here’s the official website.