The Wizards of WordPress finally checked their Palantír and noticed they’d failed to respond to my feeble pleas for succor, or as some jaded customer-service types call it, “Sucker.”

But respond they finally did, yesterday. And thus, as your reigning Prelate of Punditry, I bear their scriptures to you, my congregation.

First, since the comments issue seems to affect different users (Mac, Windows, Firefox, Safari) in different ways, the duty wizard suggested that those of you experiencing technical difficulties “post in our public support forums to get help troubleshooting [your] setups.”

Adding a “modlook” tag to your post on forums.wordpress.com will add it to the staff queue for that team, quoth the wizard via email.

Now, I realize this may be a bridge too far for some of yis who are moved occasionally to rattle-can a little snark onto Your Humble Narrator’s virtual railroad trestle. And in any event, crossing it might not lead you to a brave new commenting world.

Because the duty wizard added that the the blog’s theme, like its operator, “is very old and no longer compatible” with many browser setups.

“There are more modern themes that still stay true to the simplistic aesthetic of Kubrick,” the wizard added, suggesting that I search WP’s theme park for a new one with tags like “blog,” “author,” “technophobe,” “senile old hack,” “gibbering eejit,” “Stone Age scribbler,” “nursing-home newsletter,” or “STFU.”

(Actually, the wizard only pitched the first two tags. But hey, it’s my blog and I’ll lie if I want to, lie if I want to, lie if I want to — you would lie too if it happened to you.)

Ordinarily when someone suggests “It’s not us, it’s you,” I snort and holler, “Boooooooosheeyit!” But I’m inclined to buy what this wizard is selling because I’m rocking some seriously old gear here and have been noticing my own technical difficulties doing bits of this, that, and the other in my journeys throughout the Innertubes.

I mean, c’mon: A 2014 MacBook Pro running macOS Mojave 10.14.6? Sure, 16 GB of memory and plenty of room yet on the old internal drive, but still, we’re talking Safari 14.1.2 here. That dog’s so old it won’t hunt WP’s theme park for some of the newer possibilities. Just staggers around the gate sniffing and pissing on the bars.

So, we may be looking at a prolonged period of “upgrades” here at Ye Olde Dogge Pounde. OS. Browser. WP theme. Etc. Get ’er up there on the lift, Skeeter. Sweet holy motherfuck, what we got here? Git a bucket under that! And fetch my .22 wheelgun, something’s built a nest in there. Do Duck! City woodrats have eight eyes?

My plan, such as it is, is to experiment with new themes using an old blog, rather than risk the Main Attraction, which goes all the way back to November 2008. I keep a couple-three shuttered shops in the old unreal-estate portfolio just in case this sort of nightmare ever reared its ugly head(s).

More as I learn it. Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. A Misery Engineer will be with you shortly. Your wait time is currently …. beeeeeeeeeep.

A WordPress “happiness engineer” and I have had one exchange of views about the comments issue, and I am eagerly awaiting round two.

In the meantime, if you continue to have problems sounding off in this space, the WPHE’s advice is to:

• Clear your browser cache and cookies.

• Make sure Javascript is enabled.

As for me, I recommend trying a variety of browsers. I was able to comment on the DogS(h)ite using the Mac versions of Firefox and Chrome on a 2014 MacBook Pro running the Catalina OS.

Some of you have noticed that the “Leave a Reply” box looks a little different lately, and the WPHE acknowledged that WP “is constantly updating and improving its features (emphasis mine), so it’s possible that recent updates could have affected the appearance or functionality of the comment box.”

O, indeed. “In my Father’s CMS there are many updates,” as the Good Book tells us.

Now, I’m just spitballing here in the absence of evidence or expertise, but it’s possible that my insistence on using WP’s Classic Editor instead of its beshitted Block Editor — curse its name, yes — may play some role here.

Or it may be that the theme I use, the venerable Kubrick, has long since been “retired” and is no longer supported properly. Chances are it’s just gathering dust and being “updated and improved” by mice in the bottom drawer of an Army-surplus metal desk down in storage room B. There may be a Swingline stapler on the desk, right next to a box of matches.

Lotta strands in old Duder’s head, man. And they’re not all plugged into the proper sockets. More as I hear it. Meanwhile, keep those cards and letters coming, and don’t touch that dial.

A quick housekeeping question for all y’all:

Anyone having trouble commenting on the site?

I realize this may be a tough one to answer if you’re having trouble commenting on the site. But a couple of readers have mentioned issues recently and I’ve noticed a subtle alteration of the CMS that may indicate that the WordPress peoples have moved some of the furniture around and the rest of us are barking our shins on it in the dark.

Anyway, comment if you can, email if you can’t. Let me know how you comment — right here at some individual post, via Facebook, by subscribing to posts, whatevs. I’ll take my troubles to the WordPress gods in prayer.