The wind is out of the southwest at 23 mph with gusts to twice that, the sky is the color of old sun-bleached denim, and the McShooter is back on the menu at McMedia.
That’ll give ’em something to chew on for a while, hah?
This latest assassination suspect’s chances of getting a fair trial anywhere other than the dark side of the moon evaporated between last night’s Magical Mystery Meat at the Hinckley Hilton and this morning’s Eggs McMurder at the drive-thru of your choice.
His Excremency King Piggy the Sticky-fingered reveals that there is a “manifesto,” because of course there is. A template is included in every Junior Assassin kit, and AK-A.I.™ can flesh out the deets for the bombastically challenged.
The Pestilence and his Merry Men were “likely” targets, opines the acting attorney general. As though his predecessor weren’t merely acting too, albeit on a dinner-theater level, if your dinner theater features servers with paper hats and that drive-thru mentioned earlier. Don’t hang by fishhooks through the nips while waiting for those Tony noms, kids.
I mean, like, shit, c’mon. What’s newsworthy is that someone isn’t trying to kill this guy every day of the week and twice on Sunday. If he were a dog with these behavioral issues and track record a no-kill animal-rescue shelter run by vegan Buddhist nuns would’ve dropped the pill on him when it became clear he just wasn’t gonna stop eating toddlers.
I won’t advocate for it, but if it happens, the first words out of my mouth are likely to be something along the lines of what the Schofield Kid said to William Munny. And what Will said to the Kid applies, too.
