Archive for the ‘Cats’ Category

Bricks and blankets

March 3, 2019

Miss Mia Sopaipilla performs her cover of “All Along the Watchtower.”

My supervisors noted in a recent performance review that I hadn’t posted any cat pix since January 31.

The Turk has blue eyes, but you hardly ever get to see ’em.

This obviously could not stand, man. So I got busy with the Sony RX100 III.

I think that pay raise I’d been counting on is right out, though.

However, the temps are coming up right smart, and if that continues, I’m out of here for a ride of some sort.

I know that this is a finger in the eye for those of you sentenced to the upper deck of the Benighted States, but at least all that cold and snow is probably tamping down the pollen.

Not so much here, especially with the wind stirring things up. Sunscreen on the outside, Claritin-D on the inside.

Phaw. Schtonk. Hyeeeenk. Snurk. Ptui.

Grounds for dismissal

January 31, 2019

Lumpy the Bedbug, a.k.a. Miss Mia Sopaipilla,
practices her duck-and-cover.

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) displays his enthusiasm for another wealthy egomaniac at the helm.

I took a poll of registered felines this morning: “Is former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz a viable candidate for president of the United States?”

The results are as you see.

Of course, the respondents had yet to enjoy the morning’s venti salted caramel mocha frappucino with five pumps of frap roast, four pumps of caramel sauce, four pumps of caramel syrup, three pumps of mocha, three pumps of toffee nut syrup, double blended with extra whipped cream. So the results could be skewed.

Or maybe the candidate is. In describing Schultz as “more of a bore than a monster,” a one-percenter who could draw a few gazillion from petty cash to run as an independent, split the anti-Cheeto vote “and re-elect the dumber version of himself currently in the White House,” Matt Taibbi sums it all up nicely at Rolling Stone: “Is anything in the world more dangerous than a bored billionaire?”

Stone free

January 15, 2019

His Excellency recovers from the tortures of the damned, a.k.a. a visit to the vet.

While the shit-mist continues to blot out Old Sol in DeeCee, we’ve had a little sunshine in our back door today.

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) had been under the weather about a month back, and so I chauffeured him to his personal physician, who diagnosed a bit of arthritis in the hips and (of all things) a pair of stones in his bladder, an affliction with which we are all too familiar.

The vet recommended that we replace his dry kibble with a canned prescription diet and a side of nutriceutical antiinflammatory, then come back in 30 days to see whether the change in cuisine would solve the issue without more heroic measures.

If It didn’t — well, as I noted, we’ve been down this stony road before with the late, lamented Mister Boo. And we were not looking forward to approving yet another round of surgery on yet another of our comrades.

Today was the day for His Excellency’s followup visit, and not only did the Turk pass with flying colors (and without knifework), he’s actually shed a few ounces on the new diet.

Since his rock has apparently rolled, I played him a little Jimi to celebrate.

Shake, rattle and roll

January 1, 2019

That’s not a Wall. Not even the one from “Game of Thrones.” It’s the side patio, as photographed from the dining room, ’cause damme if I’m going outside today.

Don’t expect me to hit the bricks for the first ride of the New Year. We’ve already achieved the expected “high,” there’s a stiff wind out of the ENE, and the snow is coming in sideways.

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), has enjoyed a brace of delicious breakfasts and retired to his quarters to map out the year’s strategy on the underside of his eyelids.

Cranking up the internal furnace.

His adjutant, Miss Mia Sopaipilla, has drawn guard duty in Tower One, but as there seem to be no White Walkers within the perimeter — just a few socialist finches hopping around at the base of the maple, looking for a handout — she too is at a reduced state of readiness.

The conditions compelled me to fry up a skillet of my famous two-pepper hash (red bell and Hatch green, with diced red spuds, minced onion and garlic, Mexican oregano and chopped cilantro). Herself topped it off with a couple eggs over easy, and a generous sprinkle of grated Cabot sharp cheddar with a fruit cup on the side helped douse the fire.

Now the question is: How do I sweat that off? There’s not enough snow to do anything with, just enough to do something to me, and I’m kind of over that. But setting up the stationary trainer strikes me as a poor way to kick off a new training log.

Incidentally, I managed 3,309.8 miles on the bike last year, which is probably about a third of what Friend of the Blog Sharon logged. Still, I make it my best year since 2011, when I rode 3,370.2 miles.

And now, Lightnin’ Hopkins and I would like to wish all you cool cats and kittens a rockin’ happy New Year (h/t to the M-dogg for serving up that hot Decca platter). Wear it out. Tear it up.

Rocking out

December 29, 2018

“Would you mind either cranking up the heat a smidge or fetching me a blanket? Thanks ever so much. Also, some delicious snacks would be nice.”

Now here’s a fella who knows what to do with a 9-degree morning. A couple medium-heavy breakfasts, a bit of grooming, and then a nice long snooze.

 

Catbed scanner

December 13, 2018

“Yo, scan this.”

Miss Mia Sopaipilla proves something of an impediment to the rumormongery from time to time.

The cat’s meow

November 18, 2018

Miss Mia Sopaipilla dares you to make a move on her Q-Tip.

Best. Cat. Toy. Ever.

Miss Mia Sopaipilla and Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein, commander of the 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment (not pictured), put a serious ass-whuppin’ on a couple of Q-Tips this morning.

Herself was busy in her office when the cats decided, as cats will, to sit on the sheet music she was preparing for sale on eBay.

Now, your cat loves nothing more than sitting on something, unless it’s sitting on something that’s sitting on something; in this instance, sheet music sitting on the floor.

Or perhaps sitting on something that’s sitting on something that’s sitting on something. Or maybe invading a cardboard box or a plastic bag. Or just plain getting underfoot, what Robert A. Heinlein called “following you ahead of you.”

So Herself chucked them a couple of Q-Tips and boom! Now we have another hot item in the Instant Cat Toy Catalogue. Just in time for Black Friday, too. Operators are standing by.

Cat on a cold gravel roof

October 17, 2018

Last night, when I was up on the roof at dark-thirty in a howling gale, using a headlamp and a handsaw to edit a pine whose flailing branches were making Freddy Kruegeresque noises on our ductwork, I sez to myself, I sez, “What the world really needs right this minute is another cute cat video.”

You’re welcome.

Executive time

September 6, 2018

The chair recognizes His Excellency, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment). Oy, does it ever.

Oh, sure, you can impeach him, maybe even convict.

But you’re gonna need the Army to get him out of that chair. Maybe the Marines, too.

International Cat Day

August 8, 2018

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), at ease.

“Today is ‘International Cat Day,’ you say? When is it not?” enquires ’Is Lardship.

He’s not kidding, y’know.