Archive for the ‘Cats’ Category

Photobombed

August 31, 2019

“I’m ready for my closeup, Mr. DeO’Grady.”

Jesus. Everybody wants to be in pictures. Even Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), who really is old enough to know better.

I mean, look at him. He thinks he’s still a leading man at an age when he ought to be settling in as a character actor.

And at any rate, these Adventure Cyclist videos are light on parts for blue-eyed white guys who ain’t me. This cat can’t even ride a bike, much less review one.

Of course, they say the same thing about me. But I’m the cat with the camera.

It’s coming up

July 29, 2019

The celestial is often preferable to the terrestrial.

Checking out morning as it breaks over the Sandias beats inspecting cat barf before coffee.

And yes, I have some experience in these matters.

I’ve spared you the ground-level snaps.

You’re welcome.

Pirate off the port stern

May 21, 2019

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), ever on the alert.

Oh, sure, you can buy ’em cat furniture. Get ’em a second home in Santa Cruz and a Catalina 400 while you’re at it. They’re still gonna commandeer your chair.

Eagle-eyed

May 13, 2019

“We just saw an eagle go by. It was carrying a baby.” (h/t E.B. White)

Morning report

May 10, 2019

We won’t need any sunscreen today.

No, you haven’t stroked out. All is well. What you’re seeing is the wind-driven rain smearing Miss Mia Sopaipilla’s upper-deck observation window.

Frankly, she finds this irksome. The Enemy is everywhere, and eternal vigilance is the price of liberty, as we discovered last night when a stray cat materialized outside the Southwestern Sally Port.

I was loading the dishwasher when a horrific yowling and clatter nearly gave me a stroke. I thought maybe the Dead had breached the Wall, but nope. It was Mia, scattering the vertical blinds as she marched to and fro alongside the sliding glass doors, challenging a feline interloper to personal combat, while Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) formulated strategy and tactics from his command post in the rear.

This morning I awakened to find that the commander and his staff duty officer had deployed various biological countermeasures overnight (the Geneva Convention notwithstanding), and terrorists had disabled the coffee grinder. But I was able to bring the base back to full readiness with various cleaning products, some elbow grease and much bad language.

Opening a few windows helped, too, until the rain started coming in sideways.

That is all.

Sinko de Mayo?

May 5, 2019

More like “Sinko del Turko,” actually.

The cat’s meow

May 3, 2019

“You impeach that guy yet? No? Well, you know where to find me.”

The Cat on the Street interview

April 24, 2019

Miss Mia Sopaipilla speaks out boldly when others remain silent.

“Impeach him? Of course you impeach him. And convict him, if you haven’t been ‘fixed’ like the Turk, who by the way doesn’t think you ‘fixed’ anything by having his nuts cut off. They weren’t broken, f’chrissake. Not like the Senate’s, anyway. Talk about your nutless wonders.

“If this clown were a cat, we’d have hissed at him and swatted him and run his fat orange ass all the way back to New York by now.

“We’d have shit in Pelosi’s shoes, too. And barfed hairballs into the kneepads McConnell wears when he’s getting the Kentucky Meat Shower at those Federalist Society clusterfucks.

“And to think you call us pussies.”

Will snooze for tips

April 19, 2019

It’s good work if you can get it.

Well. Shit. Who wouldn’t?

Your Monday Mia

April 8, 2019

“No wine? Say, what kind of a dump are you running here, anyway?”

You know how it is. Pay attention to one cat, and the other wants some too. Especially if food — or fame — is involved.