JFC. It’s hard to tell who’s a bigger twat, Karoline Leavitt or Steven Cheung.
The Mean Girl Division of the White House communications office is some next-level shit. Good thing Vinnie Barbarino isn’t in the press corps. Dude wouldn’t last two rounds with these bitches.
The proletarians have nothing to lube but their chains!
Wait a minute. That’s not right. …
The proletarians would also want to butter their chamois, lest they suffer knots on their knuts during pedal revolutions. When V.I. Lenin wrote “What Is to Be Done? Burning Questions of Our Movement” in 1902 he was not recommending remedies for saddle sores.
Yeah, it’s another Labor Day entry.
I’d been invited to smash the State at a rally in Fanta Se, but that was looking like an all-day affair, and with (a) it being Monday, and (2) Herself inbound from a long weekend in Minnesota, I had trash and recycling bins to set out and retrieve; sheets, pillowcases and towels to launder; plants to water; hummingbird feeders to wash and refill; the usual feline maintenance; and a general all-round, stem-to-stern, rapid reassembly of a living space in which only one-third of the occupants really cares about any sort of Better Homes & Gardens tidiness.
Guess who. Here’s a hint: It ain’t me or Miss Mia. I’ve always done my best work under deadline pressure, but I can guarantee you I’ve cut a few corners here today. The self-criticism session will be grueling.
So, anyway, instead of invading the capital with my socialist brethren and sisthren I spent a couple hours cycling around the foothills with my geezer comrades in what proved to be a delightful debut for September 2025 before buckling down to the task(s) at hand..
I flew the red jersey and took all my pulls. “From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs,” etc. And I stood by valiantly as one of our number was waylaid by a reactionary goathead or shard of glass. The lumpenproletariat traditionally recycles beverage containers at roadside, via passenger-side windows, during revolutionary holiday weekends.
“Glassholes,” as one comrade muttered.
When I returned home to a frugal working-class lunch I discovered that there were two — two! — Labor Day rallies right here in The Duck! City. And I had missed both of them.
The comrades in PR are way off the back here. I’m gonna have to start paying closer attention to my socialist-media accounts.
The Pestilence has been diagnosed with Chronic Penis Insufficiency*, which should surprise approximately no one.
According to the usually fabricated sources his condition has become so dire that two aides are compelled to help him find it come time to pee.
As the first sprinkles pepper into his unzipped trousers, the second stands at the ready, holding a powerful magnifying glass and tweezers. When the little fella reveals its location by sneezing, the second aide spots it with the glass, grabs it with the tweezers, and aims it at the gold-plated toilet.
Mission accomplished!
It’s a process both delicate and cumbersome, as the two aides are immediately fired, gagged with NDAs, and deported to Lower Spaminacanistan before they can run giggling to the press. And thus replacements must be found. Repeat ad infinitum.
*Oh, pardon me. He has chronic venous insufficiency, not the other thing. As far as we know. …
“Snow, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of snow in the morning. The smell, you know that snow smell? The whole hill. Smelled like … winter.”
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
MAGA Claws is coming to town
He’s making a list
And checking it twice
That knock on the door
Is probably ICE
MAGA Claws is coming to town
Your health care he’ll be slashing
Your pension he will take
Once the migrants have been shipped back home
On a lettuce farm you’ll rake
Achtung!
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
MAGA Claws is coming to town
Little tin horns are beating his drums
Calling his enemies losers and bums
MAGA Claws is coming to town
Curly-head dolls are all that he sees
Says he can grab ’em by their pee-pees
MAGA Claws is coming to town
He’s got the House and Senate
He’s got the Supremes too
Even if you voted for this clown
He will sic them all on you
Jawohl!
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
You better watch out
MAGA Claws is coming to town!
Mad Blog Media 