Archive for the ‘Cheap gags’ Category

Screwed again

February 12, 2019

Fake news.

“‘Tool Disposal Notice?'” I said. “At long last, they’re impeaching him!”

Nope. Just a Harbor Freight Tools ad. Still, a fella can always use a bigger hammer for those delicate adjustments to this and that.

A sign of the tines

November 19, 2018

MARA the Tempter is always on the job. Though not necessarily with a rake.

Or “A Rake’s Progress.”

• A tip of the bracero’s sombrero for the news nugget goes out to Merrill “M-Dogg” Oliver, a Noo Yawkah turned Californicator who is something of a rake in his own right.

Bring out your dead

October 31, 2018

That’ll be ninepence. And a happy Halloween to you.

Pump bomb

October 24, 2018

Someone has a short fuse for the fake news.

Never fear. They missed me.

Waiting for Columbus

October 8, 2018

It’ll all come out in the wash

October 5, 2018

I’m ditchin’, man.

Well, no; no, it won’t.

But I’m in the wash* anyway.

 

*We call washes “arroyos” down here, and sometimes we don’t come out, either.

Ever been in a Turkish prison?

June 22, 2018

Kitty porn.

His Excellency, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), wants to know what’s all this fuss about putting children in cages.

“Just scratch their ears now and then, keep the food bowl full, and clean that litter box twice a day,” he purrs. “I’ve been a prisoner of love all my life. But then again, I’m a white guy, so your mileage may vary.”

 

Star Dreck: The Wrath of Con

June 10, 2018

Is the rest of the galaxy starting to figure out where Ricardo Mountebank is coming from?

Wheeled chair

April 27, 2018

“It’s OK, I have allergies.”

Friday funny

April 13, 2018

“Yeah, it’s all alphabetized by name. This is the ‘A’ section.”

Is anyone else amused by the fact that the squad of Department of Justice attorneys detailed to go through Michael Cohen’s poon-payoff pile is called a “taint team?”