Archive for the ‘Cheap gags’ Category

iStone

March 7, 2017

A grave decision.

Mooned

February 5, 2017
Big light in sky slated to appear in east.

Big light in sky slated to appear in east.

Oh, great, now we got the moon out during the day.

Are we still blaming Obama for this sort of thing?

 

 

Light entertainment

December 3, 2016
I call this one "Christmas Lights 2016 II: Holy Shit, Either This Is Really Good Mescaline Or I'm Having a Stroke."

I call this one “Christmas Lights 2016 II: Holy Shit, Either This Is Really Good Mescaline Or I’m Having a Stroke.”

You’re fired

November 16, 2016
Fire! Fire! Fire! (Actually, it's just sunrise.)

Fire! Fire! Fire! (Actually, it’s just sunrise.)

Well, now we’re really fucked. The fire god has eaten the moon.

Don de Está la Comida

October 21, 2016

bad-hambre-sm-2

Putting the rumors to bed

July 15, 2016
Turk denies coup reports. "I'm right here, just like always," he told our reporter. "When's dinner?"

Turk denies coup reports. “I’m right here, just like always,” he told our reporter. “When’s dinner?”

Perro-Roubaix 2016

April 6, 2016
OK, so it's not exactly the Forest of Arenberg. I ain't exactly Peter Sagan, either.

OK, so it’s not exactly the Forest of Arenberg. I ain’t exactly Peter Sagan, either.

See Cruz

March 26, 2016
We report, you decide.

We report, you decide.

OK, I think I’ve got this whole Ted Cruz/five women thing figured out:

• One to sprinkle pepper on his crotch.

• One to listen for the poor little thing to sneeze.

• One to locate it through the magnifying glass.

• One to grab it with the tweezers.

• And, of course, one to leak the whole sordid tale to the National Enquirer.

Oo-ee … oo-ee, baby. …

Spring has sprung

March 20, 2016
Vern would be pleased.

Vern would be pleased.

Welcome to the earliest vernal equinox since 1896, according to EarthSky.

The vernal equinox is named for Vern, the ancient Roman god of aeration. The illegitimate offspring of the lesser deities Benadryl, god of drying up, and Kleenex, god of mopping up, Vern (like Your Humble Narrator) had a small but entirely deranged following; his was dedicated to perforating nouns, which is to say people, places and things. Especially people.

The conspirators who did for Julius Caesar were all dedicated Vernalites, though they claimed afterward that their knifework was intended to permit vital fluids to gain entrance rather than draining them.

Indeed, among the Vernalites a certain belligerent thickheadedness was considered a blessing rather than a curse, and today we can find their descendants manning customer-service “help” desks, hosting the morning drive-time “zoo” at local radio stations, and running for president on the GOP ticket.

 

After New Hampshire …

February 10, 2016

… the GOP Establishment consults a new strategist.