Looks like an Easter sun day (har de har har).
Archive for the ‘Cheap gags’ Category
Tonatiuh plays the Beatles
April 9, 2023Erin go blaugh
March 17, 2023
Snow makes the coffee taste even better.
I will never be smart. But occasionally I am correct.
On Wednesday, I had been thinking about going for a run, but decided to gallop around Elena Gallegos Open Space on a cyclocross bike for 90 minutes or so because Thursday’s weather was looking iffy and I’d probably need to run then.
On Thursday, the weather was indeed iffy — as in raining — and I considered taking the day off entirely. But then I reconsidered and Herself and I went for a run, because Friday was shaping up to be even worse.
And now, here it is Friday, March 17, and it is snowing. From several directions at once, too.
Emboldened by a short streak of rightness, I announced with authority, “This almost never happens.”
And boom, just like that I was back to being not-smart. Also, wrong.
This is why we take notes. I glanced back through a half-dozen old training logs and found reports of March snow in 2019 and 2022, and as late as April 28 (2017 and 2021).
The forecast for St. Patrick’s Day — and for several days afterward — is for more of the same. I guess it’s a good thing I made a big pot of soup last night, because it sure doesn’t look like we’ll be getting a Paddy melt today.
Smoking pot
February 27, 2023
Hot water at the touch of a button. Welcome to … the Future!
We bought an electric kettle to save all y’all from our gas cooktop.
You’re welcome.
Now instead of firing up the KitchenAid Death Machine to heat water for the morning pour-over, we punch a button on this OXO Brew and hey presto! Hot water. It’s magic.
Of course, we get our power from a secret plant outside Grants that generates electricity by slow-roasting the homeless. It sells the meat to Mickey D’s. We like to think of it as a win-win.
Oh, no, there goes the barrio
February 2, 2023
Go go Rockzilla!
Rock on: This morning Rockzilla saw his shadow, which as you know means six more weeks of fiery breath, stomping things flat, and general devastation in the Greater Duck! City Metropolitan Area.
‘Virga’ mi verga
June 13, 2022
Wet dream.
The NWS calls it “virga,” which means “rain that evaporates before it reaches the ground due to very dry air above the surface and below cloud base.”
But they should really call it “verga,” which means “dick,” which is what you get. And a dry hump it is, too.
Rain? Sheeyit. We got better odds of seeing a sensible gun-control measure clearing the Senate and Beelzebozo doing the perp walk.
The Vladfather
February 28, 2022
All these years we thought Vladimir Putin was a sort of Russian Michael Corleone.
But is it possible he’s been Fredo all along?
You will recall what happened to Fredo.
London calling
February 2, 2022
“He lay down on the snow and attempted to sleep,
but the frost soon drove him shivering to his feet.”
Buck and John Thornton must be shitting themselves.
Joe-wee
October 27, 2021
I wonder what we could get for this pee tape?
OK, so we chain Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema to the bottom of an empty Olympic-size pool. We charge average Americans $5 a go to pee in the pool, and sell the “streaming” rights to the highest bidder.
All proceeds go toward eliminating the debt and deficit, minus a small cash prize to whoever finally puts the two of them under water.
There will be some who say this won’t eliminate the debt or the deficit, or even shove Sleepy Joe’s Incredible Shrinking Build Back Better bill through the legislative sausage grinder. And they’re absolutely right.
But let’s do it anyway.
Happy Mothers’ Day
May 9, 2021
Don’t freak out, man.
The Free New Mexican Air Force?
February 25, 2021
From the Albuquerque Journal:
“Do you have any targets up here?” the pilot of American Airlines Flight 2292 asks Federal Aviation Administration traffic controllers. “We just had something go right over the top of us. I hate to say this, but it looked like a long, cylindrical object that almost looked like a cruise missile type of thing moving really fast right over the top of us.”
Was it Mescalito riding his white horse? Or The Free New Mexican Air Force?
¿Quien sabe, ese? Rolllllllllllllllllllllllll another one … just like the other one. …
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