Archive for the ‘Cheap gags’ Category

Ever been in a Turkish prison?

June 22, 2018

Kitty porn.

His Excellency, Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment), wants to know what’s all this fuss about putting children in cages.

“Just scratch their ears now and then, keep the food bowl full, and clean that litter box twice a day,” he purrs. “I’ve been a prisoner of love all my life. But then again, I’m a white guy, so your mileage may vary.”

 

Star Dreck: The Wrath of Con

June 10, 2018

Is the rest of the galaxy starting to figure out where Ricardo Mountebank is coming from?

Wheeled chair

April 27, 2018

“It’s OK, I have allergies.”

Friday funny

April 13, 2018

“Yeah, it’s all alphabetized by name. This is the ‘A’ section.”

Is anyone else amused by the fact that the squad of Department of Justice attorneys detailed to go through Michael Cohen’s poon-payoff pile is called a “taint team?”

So this lawyer walks into a bar. …

April 9, 2018

Just another working girl. | Photo on loan for the purposes of satire and parody from the New York Post.

It’s simple, really. Like the rest of us, the FBI simply wants to know:

Did he have to put the $130,000 in her G-string, one buck at a time?

April fool

April 1, 2018

Now that’s what I call an April fool.

In my Easter bonnet, with all the frills upon it,

I’ll be the grandest lady in the Easter parade.

 

Capped

March 5, 2018

C’mon. You know somebody’s working on this. Probably .380 instead of .22LR with a Bluetooth trigger.

Hasta la Vista, baby?

 

The dark and stormy knight

February 26, 2018

Na na na na na na na na na
Na na na na na na na na na
F A T M A N!

“I really believe I’d run in, even if I didn’t have a weapon.” — Bruce Whine, a.k.a. Fatman.

Going to pot

January 24, 2018

Irish penicillin. You knew the Irish were one of the Lost Tribes of Israel, right? True fact. The Tribe of Danny Boy.

Yes, that is a pot of chicken soup in its larval stage.

Herself has crashed and burned on the living-room couch to the stylin’ sounds of KUVO-FM (“Community, Culture, Music”). The Boo is sacked out in his kennel after a long night of behavior I’d rather not revisit while preparing food. And Turkish and Mia are dozing in their respective sunny spots in the master bedroom.

Only I remain awake to tell the tale. And I’d be on the nod too, but someone has to cook and clean and keep the cats out of the damn’ soup.

This is our most desperate hour

December 1, 2017

Our only hope.