Rouleurs and Stooges and ’cross, oh my!

January 13, 2012January 13, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

Edward R. Furrow — Never give a mad dog an open mic'.

Friend of the site Larry T., commenting over at VeloNoise, directed me to a witty review of cyclo-cross commentary American style by his pals at Rouleur magazine.

Naturally, I was inspired to bang out my own take on things.

Maybe it’s that I’ve spent too many years working alone from a home office, but I find myself less tolerant of racket in my advanced geezerhood. And that’s what I find most homegrown cycling commentary to be.

No disrespect intended to Dave Towle, Richard Fries or Brad Sohner, who had a more restrained delivery than his two comrades. It takes ’nads to put yourself out there, mic’d up and on camera, and then crank up the old P.T. Barnum for a few hours (“Hur-ry, hur-ry, hur-ry!”). I’d just like to see them dial down the theatricality a click or two or three. That sort of bombast is hard on an iMac’s speakers.

There’s plenty of drama inherent in the racing. No need to slather on more. It’s like watching someone take a can of Krylon to a Moots.

Meanwhile, my fellow geezers are mixing it up at the 2012 masters cyclo-cross worlds in Louisville, and all the usual suspects are serving up the whup-ass from a muddy 55-gallon drum. It would be fun to be there.

But it would be even more fun to be there in 2013, when Eva Bandman Park hosts the UCI Cyclo-cross Elite World Championships. Hell, if I can get there I might be doing some hollering my own bad self. “One to go! Onetogo onetogo onetogo!”

Making a joyful (Velo)noise unto the lords

January 9, 2012January 9, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 11 Comments

Thanks to one and all for playing VeloNoise on Sunday. It was an interesting experiment in what may well be modern journalism’s ultimate corporate goal — one unpaid staffer using his own tools to transform free resources into paying copy.

The only downsides, from management’s vulturine perspective, is that (a) there was no paying copy, since WordPress does not permit advertising on its free blogs; and (2) the enterprise lacked the customary seven layers of senior executive vice presidents farting through silk and issuing contradictory edicts to the pixel-pusher at the keyboard.

I slapped the website together for less than a hundred smacks, most of it spent to nail down the domain names and the rest to point those names to a WordPress blog that uses the same template as this one for simplicity’s sake. The banner I built in Photoshop Elements 8. The only thing left to do was digest video and excrete words.

Where’s it all leading, you ask? Beats the hell out of me. I basically did it for laughs, a bit of performance art directed at Pharaoh as I fled Egypt. “How’s this for bricks without straw, bitch!”

With that accomplished, VeloNoise could become many things — a blog, a column title, a T-shirt. As usual, I’m just making it up as I go along. Whatever happens as a consequence is liable to be a surprise to all of us.

Hey, children, what’s that sound. …

January 7, 2012January 8, 2012 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 18 Comments

VeloNoise — One bad idea deserves another.

It struck me today, as I was enjoying a leisurely spin around Bibleburg, that this was the first weekend in the better part of quite some time that I hadn’t been confined to the VeloBarrel, shoveling frantically to keep my breathing apparatus above … well, I suppose you could call it water.

Of course, it was also the first weekend in the better part of quite some time that I was “at liberty,” or “resting,” as Steinbeck said the theatrical people had it, or “down to two part-time jobs,” as I describe it.

This gives a man time to ride, weather permitting. Also to think.

So, as Sunday seems more of a snow day, maybe I’ll do for free what I used to do for money at the other place — watch streaming video of the Belgian and U.S. national cyclo-cross championships and pop a short recap of each up on the Innertubes at www.velonoise.com.

That’s Velo-Noise, by the way. Sound it out: velo-noise. And no disrespect to my fellow Velo-comrades is intended. But it’s a new season, and we’re wearing different jerseys. I’ve just reverted to amateur status — which means I’m doing it for fun, not money.

• Late update: I’m gonna try a little experiment and embed the code for the streaming video over at VeloNoise, just ’cause. I owe it to science.

Sand blast

October 30, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

These Internets are something, aren’t they? I just got paid to watch streaming video of the Superprestige stop in Zonhoven and was it ever a giggle.

The Zonhoven course features sand — lots and lots of sand — a run-up so steep that most guys pull themselves along using ropes that line the ascent alongside the course tape, and two steep, deep-sand descents, one of which was stacking up the body count faster than the Oakland PD attacking an Occupy encampment.

There were some spectacular get-offs on that bad boy, including one involving Tom Meeusen and Bart Aernouts. Meeusen screwed the pooch and augured in, leaving Aernouts — who was behind him and to the right as Meeusen’s bike catapulted into the course tape — with nowhere to go but right over the bars and into a world of pain.

Amazingly, both men remounted and finished. I would’ve laid there whimpering piteously until someone brought me a frosty Duvel.

The rise of fall

September 23, 2011September 24, 2011 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 10 Comments

Some new color in the trees — The season is changing with a vengeance.

Hello, autumnal equinox. I didn’t expect you quite so soon. Still, there’s something to be said for lows in the 40s and highs in the 70s, especially for those of us who like to spend a lot of time outdoors.

Indoors, the evening libation is shifting gradually away from ice-cold beer to blood-red wine, and we need an extra blankie come bedtime. Occasionally the furnace clicks on. Perfect sleeping weather, if you don’t mind a snuffling mutt periodically rearranging himself around your ankles.

It’s cyclo-cross season, of course, but I don’t think I’ll be seeing much racing in person since I work the weekends for VeloNews.com. Looks like there’s only one local ’cross, too, on Nov. 19. All the action’s up north these days, which is one of the many reasons I no longer race. Who wants to drive for five hours to race for 45 minutes? Not this old dog.

Speaking of racing, it seems VN.com doesn’t have the wherewithal to pay Charles Pelkey for live updates from Sunday’s elite men’s race at road worlds, so I’m going to try to embed the code on this site for your viewing pleasure. If for one reason or another it doesn’t work, you can always visit CP directly at Live Update Guy.