Category: Deep political thought

De-spic-able

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 11 Comments

Arizona seems to be trying to out-dingbat Colorado with the likes of John McCain, Joe Arpaio and now Gov. Jan Brewer, who just signed into law a despicable immigration bill (pun intended) that will accomplish little beyond empowering racists, harassing Hispanics and enriching attorneys.

“We must enforce the law evenly, and without regard to skin color, accent, or social status,” said Brewer. “We must prove the alarmists and the cynics wrong.”

Claro que si. I mean, c’mon, here — you think a cop who sees me banging back a Guinness or three at The Shanty in Tucson is gonna demand my green card, suspecting I swam over from County Clare for a cushy gig mowing lawns in Catalina Foothills? Puh-leeze.

The only solution to illegal immigration is to wean Americans from their lust for cheap shit, which encourages employers to rely on cheap labor, both at home and abroad. It’s not unlike the so-called war on drugs, another abysmal waste of lives, time and money. Where there is demand, there will be supply, law and order be damned.

Speaking with the Los Angeles Times, Alfredo Gutierrez, a former Arizona Senate majority leader who fought against the bill, said: “It’s a sad day for the country. This is the most oppressive piece of legislation since the Japanese internment camp act.”

And in a story by The Associated Press, Francisco Loureiro, an activist who runs a migrant shelter in the border town of Nogales, Mexico, charged that police in Arizona “already treat migrants worse than animals. There is already a hunt for migrants, and now it will be open season under the cover of a law.”

“Your papers!” My ass. If I were Obama, I’d think twice before visiting Arizona anytime soon. Sheriff Joe might roust him, demanding proof of citizenship. Be a hell of a note to go from a stylish suit in the Oval Office to pink undies in Maricopa County’s Tent City.

A Mad Tea-Party

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments

It’s April 15, that joyous day when our spendthrift ne’er-do-well Uncle Sammy comes a-callin’ with both hands held out, palms up. Oboy.

We had to write a couple of hefty checks this year to Sammy and his layabout cousins running Colorado, and I can’t say I’m happy about it. Neither are the Teabaggers, who were very much in evidence today, as the media loves a circus.

Antiwar protesters couldn’t buy time on TV during the Daffy-Fudd regime, but dingbats like the ukelele-playing former “SNL” cast member Victoria Jackson get a free ride with their nonsense about there being a “communist in the White House.” Ditto Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Bizarro World), who referred to the Obama administration as “this gangster government” while addressing a Teabagger rally in DeeCee. She must’ve spent the previous administration down the rabbit hole with Alice, the March Hare and the Mad Hatter.

With all the anti-tax hysteria taking over prime time, I was astounded to stumble across a bit of sensible commentary — from, of all things, a newspaper that once employed Your Humble Narrator. The Arizona Daily Star in Tucson editorialized today “that when public officials and others rail against ‘taxes’ and cast every tax as evil and unnecessary, it’s vital to counter those claims.”

Sometimes reasoned argument even prevails over noisy nonsense, as in a follow-up interview with one respondent to a New York Times/CBS News poll on the Teabag “movement.”

(I)n follow-up interviews, Tea Party supporters said they did not want to cut Medicare or Social Security — the biggest domestic programs, suggesting instead a focus on “waste.”

Some defended being on Social Security while fighting big government by saying that since they had paid into the system, they deserved the benefits.

Others could not explain the contradiction.

“That’s a conundrum, isn’t it?” asked Jodine White, 62, of Rocklin, Calif. “I don’t know what to say. Maybe I don’t want smaller government. I guess I want smaller government and my Social Security.” She added, “I didn’t look at it from the perspective of losing things I need. I think I’ve changed my mind.”

No marginally sane person would argue that every tax dollar is spent wisely. Some of us might point to the previous administration’s fondness for starting needless, illegal and immoral wars, for example.

But if you want cops and firefighters, schools and parks, clean water and air, and some hot mix for those goddamn potholes, well … someone has to pay the freight. Which of your must-have items are you willing to do without in the name of lower taxes?

Ass, gas or grass, baby — nobody rides for free.

You’re out!

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 8 Comments

Sen. Jim Bunning (R-Jim Beam) is not only a major-league shithead, he’s a major-league shithead without the courage of his convictions — he dropped his one-eejit crusade against extending unemployment benefits last night.

Of course, “courage” is hardly the word to use here. Dubbed “The Underperformer” by Time magazine in a 2006 article discussing America’s five worst senators, Bunning wouldn’t have dared take such a stand were he not retiring from the Senate. To do so would’ve have taken actual balls instead of the substitutes he played with while pitching baseball instead of fits.

One thing I don’t understand: Why has nobody asked whether Bunning was such a deficit hawk when the Daffy-Fudd cabal was running two unfunded wars? Probably because the press knows it won’t have him to kick around much longer. Lazy pricks.

Where would Jesus camp?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 24 Comments
You ain't gonna be spendin' no 40 days wanderin' ’roun' this desert, bo'. Move along, move along.
You ain't gonna be spendin' no 40 days an' nights wanderin' ’roun' this desert, bo'. Move along, move along.

If Christ were to begin wandering around our local wilderness, collecting disciples and preaching sermons, sooner or later he and they would run afoul of Bibleburg’s latest ordinance forbidding camping on public property.

The ordinance is both shameful and silly in that it (a) demonstrates the lack of compassion in the black, withered heart of Industrial Christianity and (b) will be impossible to enforce.

Regarding the former, I always thought that it was the money-changers who were supposed to get tossed out of the temple, not the poor and helpless. As for the latter, if I’m a stony-broke homeless guy living in a tent by the creek and a cop hands me a ticket, I’m wiping my ass with it and sending it downstream to Pueblo. Put me in jail for noncompliance and I’m enjoying three hots and a cot, plus regular showers, at taxpayer expense. Shameful and silly, as I said.

Homelessness is a real problem, for the campers and the Chamber of Commerce alike, but there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Some campers are just down on their luck and awaiting better days. Others are mentally ill, addicted to this or that, and perpetually in need of social services that are either stretched beyond the breaking point or simply unavailable. And still others are real, honest-to-God hobos who prefer nibbling along the tattered edges of our consumer culture to diving in head first. Treating them all the same is absurd.

The private sector, various non-profits and individual volunteers are doing what they can. One local businessman sees an opportunity to house the homeless in a former KOA campground off South Nevada Avenue, but the city is standing in his way.

Many a passage from the Sermon on the Mount comes to mind here. Let’s try this one on for size — Matthew 8:21-23:

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then I will profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Of winter and discontent

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 8 Comments
Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo . . .
Here comes the sun, doo doo doo doo . . .

We enjoyed a beautiful morning today in Bibleburg. There was finally enough snow to shovel, just barely, and the Big Yellow Ball In the Sky took a valiant stab at burning through the clouds that have been hovering overhead for the past few days.

Herself has returned from a sun-splashed weekend in Palm Springs and is very much not amused by the conditions here, especially since she has to drive to the office in Denver shortly. This is not unlike entering a demolition derby held on ice, driving your good car instead of some beater.

Last night, as I was gingerly negotiating the slippery streets en route to the Bibleburg Intergalactic Airport to fetch her home, I saw any number of speeding nitwits piloting two-wheel drive vehicles one-handed while jabbering away on their phones. Why not just stay home and shoot yourself in the head? That way you’re performing a public service instead of being a public menace.

Speaking of public menaces, don’t miss this Mother Jones story on the Oath Keepers, a so-called “patriot” organization whose core is men and women in uniform. You can’t grow up in the military or live where I’ve lived without meeting people like this, and they’re much more frightening than their leftist counterparts, with whom I palled around in my younger, dumber days.

I occasionally consider selling my guns. Then I read a piece like this and check to see whether they’re all still loaded, with extra magazines and speedloaders within easy reach.