“You didn’t get me down, Ray … you never got me down.”
Category: Deep political thought
Hail, Gloptron!
Over at AlterNet, Greg Palast writes: “In Citizens United v. Federal Election Commission, the Supreme Court ruled that corporations should be treated the same as ‘natural persons,’ i.e. humans. Well, in that case, expect the Supreme Court to next rule that Wal-Mart can run for President.”
This very scenario was envisioned decades ago by cartoonist Gilbert Shelton in his graphic novel “The Nurds of November,” in which the jobless deuce reporter Philbert Desanex — the mild-mannered alter ego of the Super Swine, Wonder Wart-Hog — runs for president against the corporation Gloptron.
Whether he was drawing Wonder Wart-Hog or The Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, Shelton always seemed more politically intelligent than most of his contemporaries. In 1976, he teamed up with Ted Richards, Gary Hallgren and Willy Murphy to pen “Give Me Liberty! A Revised History of the American Revolution.” The “Nurds” book followed in 1980. It ends, as you might expect, badly, with a hungover constitutional convention establishing a fascist dictatorship led by a very much alive Adolf Hitler, who had his skull and teeth surgically removed to mislead his enemies.
Shortly thereafter Shelton left the Benighted States for France, taking his prescience with him. In 1995, he told The Idler: “The Christian fundamentalist right are … scary. I just didn’t want to be involved. The whole way that America wants stupid people in power, and the way they want to remove anyone with any ideas or any education, get rid of the bright people.”
R.I.P., health-care reform?
Hm. We seem to have drifted into a parade of obits here. So let’s have another — this one, for health-care reform, which apparently croaked last night with the election of dingbat Scott Brown to the U.S. Senate.
Political Animal’s Steve Benen seems particularly sour this morning, noting that a Senate seat once held by John F. Kennedy, Ted Kennedy, Henry Cabot Lodge and John Quincy Adams “is now filled by a dim-witted wingnut, and that’s a real shame — for Massachusetts, for the Senate, and for all of us.”
I can’t say I’m exactly jumping for joy, either. I’ve never been sold on the idea that this haphazardly stitched Frankenstein’s monster of a health-care bill is the final answer to a complex problem, but f’chrissakes something has to be done. Our premiums just shot up 34 percent, and I’ve spoken with others who report hikes of 40-plus percent. Anyone out there seeing their take-home pay increase by a similar or greater amount? Yeah, me neither. I recently had to make myself very unpopular with an editor just to get paid for work performed, so I’m not exactly counting on a fat raise anytime soon.
And I’m not expecting much out of the Senate, either. Not with Brown adding his wingtips to the Repuglican foot-dragging.
Race-ist to the bottom
GOP chairman Michael “Honest Injun” Steele has called on Harry “Light-skinned Negro” Reid to resign as Senate majority leader over an idiotic comment. Talk about the pot calling the kettle … well, you know.
Will he or won’t he? Hey, I’ll drink to that
With Interior Secretary Ken Salazar saying thanks, but no thanks, John Hickenlooper is said to be polling slightly behind Scott McLobbyist in the Colorado gubernatorial race — even though the Denver mayor hasn’t officially entered the race yet.
That said, what’s not to like about a guy who opened a couple of brewpubs — Wynkoop in Denver and Phantom Canyon right here in Bibleburg? Would you rather have a publican running the state or some roundheeled Big Energy mouthpiece who keeps a mattress strapped to his back in case he needs to assume the position on a moment’s notice?
Meanwhile, it’s Friday and instead of bellying up to some elegant bar I’m up to my oversized keister in various labors for VeloNews — whose absentee landlords still have yet to offer me a reasonable contract for 2010, eight days into the New Year — and Bicycle Retailer & Industry News, whose management knows better than to pester me with such nonsense. Revising badly written legalese that is to freelance journalism what Shanghaiing was to naval recruitment leaves me fulminating and unfunny, qualities one does not desire in a humorist for hire.
And finally, to another matter: Any of you folks out there know much about Austin, Texas? A cycling buddy is contemplating a move there and wants the inside scoop on the joint. I haven’t been there since I was a sprout living on Randolph AFB outside San Antone, so as usual I am less than informed. Your assistance would be appreciated.
