I’ve lived in Bibleburg off and on since 1967, so I’m rarely surprised when one of our wingnut asshats takes his clown act to the national stage. Everyone’s familiar with our most recent Three Stooges revival — Ted Haggard, Jimmy Dobson and Doug Bruce — but I can remember when there was a John Birch Society bookstore downtown, right about where Tony’s is now. And when the Ku Klux Klan attempted a comeback here in the Seventies, I interviewed the local hood-and-sheet club as well as national Kluxer David Duke for the Bibleburg Gaslight.

So color me unsurprised that state Sen. David Schultheis (R-Hyperbole) has used his Twitter account to fart higher than his ass. According to Talking Points Memo, citing Colorado Pols, Schultheis tweeted thusly:

“Don’t for a second, think Obama wants what is best for U.S. He is flying the U.S. Plane right into the ground at full speed. Let’s Roll.”

As TPM notes, “Let’s roll” were the final words of Todd Beamer, a passenger aboard United Airlines Flight 93, one of four aircraft hijacked on Sept. 11, 2001. It crashed before reaching its intended target after a passenger rebellion.

What I don’t understand is, why do we have to import nitwits like this? Schultheis is a transplant from California who didn’t start fucking up in my back yard until 1992. Don’t we have enough of our own homegrown fools to fill key positions in the state Legislature? Where are the Minutemen when we need them?

What Bibleburg needs is immigration reform, the sooner the better. Let’s save these high-paying jobs for our own dummies.

• Late update: The Denver Post has noted Schultheis’ chirpy churlishness, but as of wine-thirty, the Gaslight has not. Another non-surprise.

• Even later update: Racist fool and Birther Lou Dobbs is out at CNN. This does not mean that CNN has suddenly stopped sucking. It only means that henceforth, it will suck a little less.

Joe Lieberman and Evan Bayh should be welded into a 55-gallon drum full of rabid ferrets and catapulted into the Marianas Trench, if we can find any rabid ferrets willing to share a drum with the sonsabitches.

When I was a sprout, I had “a friend” (wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more, say no more) who used to sell ounces of weed for $12. As a journalist some years later, I used to snicker at the police valuation of weed seizures, knowing that they were based on outmoded business models like “matchbook” or “joint” sales.

Well, they’re still at it, or I’m hopelessly behind the times. According to the Bibleburg Gaslight, a medical-marijuana dispenser who beat the rap after getting arrested at a traffic stop in December 2008 — “even though he presented his medical marijuana registration card and signed documents showing that he was the … lawfully appointed supplier … for several medical marijuana users” — was holding less than a half-pound, which either the G or the cops say was worth about $4,000.

Shit, no wonder Dave’s not here. He can’t afford to be here.

Frank Rich at The New York Times draws a bead on John “Wrong Way” McCain, whom he deems chief among “the unrepentant blunderers” who dug us deeply into the twin holes of Iraq and Afghanistan. Notes Rich: “Americans … want to see the fine print after eight years of fiasco with little accounting. While McCain and company remain frozen where they were in 2001, many of their fellow citizens have learned from the Iraq tragedy.”

In noting Rich’s broadside, Steve Benen at Political Animal wonders why, given his long record of bellicose ineptitude, Wrong-Way McCain keeps getting invited to broadcast his ignorance of foreign policy via the Sunday morning political talk shows. Today marks McCain’s 14th Sunday-morning appearance since President Obama’s inauguration, notes Benen: “Not bad for a senator in the minority, who isn’t in the party leadership, who has no role in any important negotiations, and who has offered no significant pieces of legislation.”

The mainstream media often mistakes septic tanks for oracles, but McCain is a particularly odiferous sack of effluent — a military man with the boundless ego, lust for publicity and tactical genius of Gen. George Armstrong Custer.

At least Custer was among those with boots on the ground when the deal went down. McCain’s clearly spent too much time in — and on — the air to have a real sense of the real costs of warfare.