Anybody still hanging around here? Hello? (Thump thump thump.) This thing on?
It’s been a wee bit hectic around El Rancho Pendejo since last we chatted.
Le Tour started, and Le Tourists promptly started crashing right the hell out of it.
The mom-in-law popped round from Tennessee.
Deadlines for Adventure Cyclist and Bicycle Retailer arrived and departed, bearing full payloads of merde.
And poor Mister Boo surrendered 10 teeth to the doggie dentist. He is taking his nourishment in gruel form for the next two weeks and I fear for his digestive tract. Also, our brick floors.
But now, the good news: The Old Guys Who Get Fat In Winter jersey shop should be up and running sometime next week at Voler.
Once I get the green light, I’ll announce it here and add a permanent link to the online store at upper right, in the sidebar. Then I’ll just lean back in this titanium-and-carbon La-Z-Boy with a flagon of 2003 Domaine de la Romanèe Conti in one hand and a snifter of cocaine in the other and wait for the money to start rolling in. I’ve already ordered up a sixpack of courtesans, and they ain’t in business for laughs, y’know.
So this guy walks into an Apple Store with a busted iMac and — stop me if you’ve heard this one before. …
OK, so you may not have heard this one before.
Long-suffering readers of the DogS(h)ite know that my once-trusty late-2009 iMac went sideways shortly after I “upgraded” it to Mavericks, in the process leapfrogging over Lion and Mountain Lion from Snow Leopard.
Its misbehavior gradually intensified, and unable to diagnose the problem and devise a solution I finally dragged it down to the Duke City Apple Store, where a Genius critical of my OS management advised a nuke-and-pave of the hard disk drive and another “upgrade,” this time a clean install of Yosemite.
Five days and five crashes later I returned to discuss the issue further, and this time they took the doddering old iBeast in for a full brain scan.
“You might want to crack the case and check it for schmutz,” I quipped. “We have a dog and two cats, and there’s probably enough fur in there to build a yeti.” Oh, how we chortled there at the Genius Bar, techs and customers alike. Laugh, I thought I’d die.
A few days later the telephonic discussions commenced. The Geniuses were unable to replicate my issues, and their extended evaluations, like my own basic home-mechanic checks, found no hardware issues. The iMac was running a sparkling new OS and nothing but Apple software — save for Flash, which I needed for video, and SuperDuper!, which I needed to back up the drive before service — and they, like me, were at a loss.
Hard drive? Fine. Video card? OK. Bad memory? Nope. Thermal management issues? I’ve heard about temp problems, sensors detaching from drives, fans failing. Sorry, we don’t find any hardware issues atall atall.
“Did you crack the case and have a look inside? We have pets, you know. …”
Bingo. They finally opened ‘er up and found enough dust and fur clogging the fans to assemble an earth-toned pantsuit for a plus-size crazy cat lady. It actually felt a couple pounds lighter as I carried it out of the store.
This morning the old iBeast is ticking over smoothly, which if it continues will be nice, because the 2010 Mac Mini I’ve been using since Tuesday doesn’t have the oomph to run a couple different versions of the WordPress CMS, edit words, photos and videos, and do all the other things I need to do to keep my share of the lights on here at Rancho Pendejo.
Best of all? No charge for the janitorial work. When was the last time you walked away from a mechanic of any sort with your pants up and your wallet still in its pocket? I call that service and then some.
I’ll have to inform the cats who run the Innertubes. Medals, commendations and promotions may be in order.
The Sandias are barely visible this morning, which means the yeti can move about with impunity.
We finally got a little snow here in Duke City — nothing like they’re getting back in Bibleburg, mind you, but still, it helps keep the cacti looking sharp.
Meanwhile, net neutrality, yay. Here’s a look at how digital liberty is working out for the Dutch. I’ll take that cellphone/broadband plan, Hans, but you can keep the Steven Seagal, thanks all the same.
And finally, The Boo took a dump this morning that looked just like Bill O’Reilly. Upon emerging, the turd signed a multimillion-dollar deal with Fox News based on an inspirational tale about how it had to fight its way out of a commie dog’s butt, in a snowstorm, to freedom.
The Boo was quite taken with Jazzy, though she was less enamored of him. Photo: Herself
We had visitors for Valentine’s Day: Dave, Megan and Jazzy the Japanese Chin, bound for her new home in Arizona.
Dave and Megan were Jazzy’s “foster parents” until her adoption, which coincided nicely with a road trip they already had in the works. Megan is a volunteer with Colorado Japanese Chin Rescue, a fine organization wholeheartedly supported by Herself, and when they called to inquire about lodging possibilities en route we invited them to dine and spend the night at Rancho Pendejo.
Lovely people, and a lovely Chin, too, though Jazzy is very nervous around strangers, particularly men; someone was not kind to her in her previous life, and it shows.
Happily, that’s all behind her, and we wish her well as she begins a new life with her new person. Mister Boo certainly found her entrancing.
And we thank Dave and Megan for showing up with a sack full of sidewalk softener. That’s been known to open a door or two in my experience.
Meanwhile, if you happen to be in the Greater Denver Metropolitan Clusterplex this morning, swing on by the Colorado Custom and Vintage Bicycle Expo and say howdy to my man Mark Nobilette. I was riding one of his bikes just yesterday, and it’s a beaut’, just like everything else that comes out of his shop.
Anybody still hanging around here? Hello? (Thump thump thump.) This thing on?
Mad Blog Media 