Y’think Billy Crystal might be God? ‘Cause I can just see Him up there, waiting for the Basement Bozos to finish cleaning up after the Shit Monsoon — which they finally did today, just shy of five months from the actual incident — so He can pitch a change-up at us, just for laughs.

“What, they hung the door? The bathroom door? The one the goyim mis-measured twice? The putzes actually made it fit? Who knew? Oh, I’m tellin’ ya, this is the time to hit ’em from another direction altogether. Forget the basement, I’m thinking kitchen. Let’s croak their refrigerator. Hah? A laugh riot. He just went to the grocery, f’chrissakes. It’ll kill, trust me.”

And you want to know the really funny part? After Herself went to the Safeway for $15 worth of ice and I packed the contents of the ‘fridge into three giant Igloo coolers, the fucking ‘fridge seems to be getting cooler all of a sudden.

Billy Crystal, the shmuck, is God. You heard it here first.