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October 9, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 12 Comments

The guru meditates on the pure white light of stupidity.

Technology is not always our friend. For example, when I awakened this morning to the sound of the furnace fan running endlessly while the bedroom only grew colder, I surmised that our ditzy Heil heater was on the fritz again (ain’t no flies on me).

Then I clocked in over at VeloNews.com only to find the site down and some arcane error message about “guru meditation” and “varnish cache server.” Nobody told me the cache server required varnishing, and anyway, can’t the guru do it between meditations? I’m a busy man.

• Late update: Ho, ho. Seems “Guru Meditation” is the name of an error that occurred on early versions of the Commodore Amiga computers when they crashed. And here I thought we’d been running the site on a Mac SE. Live and learn. Speaking of which, looks like new-furnace time. Time to start logging some OT somewhere.

All work and no play

September 17, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments

The lads the last time we had the band together in Santa Rosa, circa 2006.

Busy, busy, busy. I know, that’s no excuse — my duty is to bring the snark, 24/7 — but I’ve forgotten where I left it. The ravages of age, don’t you know.

Hell, you’re lucky I’m around at all. I had planned a cycling trip to California — I was gonna hit the road tomorrow, drive to Ely, Nevada, spend the night, then make the final push into Santa Rosa for a week of pedaling around the wine (and beer) country with a couple of old newsie buds.

But midweek I was still feeling the effects of leaving my DNA on the Palmer Park trails, my chiropractor was threatening to tear me down for parts, and there was work to be done over at VeloNews.com.

So I bailed on the trip and instead of spinning leisurely from winery to brewpub and back again, I’m working on my monitor tan as VN.com covers the Vuelta a España, this doping revelation and that one, the USA Cycling Pro Championships in South Carolina, the Tour of Britain, the impending domestic cyclo-cross season … and don’t forget Interbike. I know you’d like to, as I have, but don’t.

In fact, dash right out and buy something from a bike shop right this minute. You owe me that much.

Swing down, sweet chariot, stop and let me ride

June 14, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 7 Comments

When Gabriel's horn blow, you better be ready to go.

More rain. Jesus. I like the way it waits until I’m done with work and getting ready for a ride before it starts coming down in torrents.

You may call this egomania, but I know for a fact that the Universe is out to get me. It’s taken my hair, vigor and girlish figure, shunted me into a dying profession and locked me into a political-science experiment gone horribly awry. And now, to add insult to injury, it’s pissing on me.

But KRCC-FM just played Parliament’s “Mothership Connection (Star Child),” so now I feel much better. “If you hear any noise, it’s just me and the boys, hittin’ it.”

Star Child willing, I’ll be hittin’ it tomorrow, when the weather is supposed to be mightily improved. I need miles. One more day stuck inside reading what passes for “news” in this benighted country of ours will have me trying to put a glide in my stride and a dip in my hip so’s I can hitch a ride on the Mothership.

Call of the not-so-wild

March 27, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 14 Comments

A dog and his desert, a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Photo: Peggy Sax

One week ago I’m in sunny Tombstone, Arizona, getting set to enjoy the final leg of the Adventure Cycling Association‘s Southern Arizona Road Adventure, an easy 23-mile spin into Benson. The high will be 64 degrees, and there will be a light tailwind for most of the ride.

Today I’m marking my 56th birthday in gray, frigid Bibleburg. There is snow on the ground and more on the way. The high is expected to approach 42, with a north-northwest wind of 30-35 mph augmented by the occasional 45-mph gust.

Some years back I began mimicking the practice of John Wilcockson of VeloNews, who rides his age on his birthday. But not even Jack London would tackle a 56-mile ride in this crap, unless he were Belgian, in which case we’d have had to read “The Call of the Wild” in Flemish (“Argle bargle Buck schmecka lecka John Thornton.”). No, thank you.

So instead I’ll do 56 minutes on the trainer. That’s almost the same, right? Riiiight.

Snow fun

March 24, 2010November 16, 2010 ~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 5 Comments

Six inches of snow — and since I'm male, you just know that looks like a foot to me.

Well, there you have it — six inches of the chilly white stuff. We got bupkis all winter long, but as soon as spring arrives it’s time to break out the rubber boots and snow shovel. The Lord works in mysterious ways and has a twisted sense of humor to boot. Consider the platypus, for instance.

The forecast is for more of the same and then sunny on Thursday. Then we’re right back in the icehouse through Saturday before the sun returns — just in time for me to clock in at VeloNews.com on Sunday.

Meanwhile, we’re looking at highs in the 70s for Tucson and Fountain Hills. I haven’t unpacked my camping gear yet — if I can just get over Raton Pass with the rubber side down I bet you I can be in one place or the other in under 24 hours.