Archive for the ‘Religion’ Category


July 18, 2021

Nope, not a church. It’s the chimney for the bedroom kiva fireplace.

The Lowell George song is pretty much all I know about Tucumcari. That, and that round two of The Visitation occurs today, as another smallish herd of Texicans gallops in from there to see Herself the Elder.

Their trip looks like a stroll through the daisies compared to what Herself’s sis will endure when she jets in from Maryland midweek. Holy hell. That itinerary is why I drive any distance under 3,000 miles that does not involve an ocean crossing. A UPS driver at Christmastime makes fewer stops. Plus there are fewer psychos to duct-tape to their seats en route.

Meanwhile, the news of the world remains an ongoing refutation of both Darwinism and theology. One envisions the Son having a Word with the Father while the Holy Ghost spitballs a new PR campaign:

“I got nailed up for these people? What were You thinking? I’m going to put You in a home while HG and I try to figure out how to turn this thing around.”

Good luck with that. Me, I’d think about starting over with a fresh crop of monkeys. But judging by the state of the place, maybe that’s already occurred to You.

Rosary for Mons

December 10, 2020

I opened the office curtains this morning and … pow!
So I dragged the Sony RX100 and the iPhone SE out to have a digital peek.

OK, with my lefty snark in the books, how about this?

The iPhone SE’s camera gave the light a slightly less mind-boggling tone.

This is what we woke up to this morning — one of the most fabulous, otherworldly skies it has been my privilege to witness.

I’m just an old Zen atheist, heretic, and equal-opportunity blasphemer, but if I were of a more religious bent, I might think that somebody with some weight up there said a rosary for Mons.

And seeing as how it’s snowing now, I’d say I’m getting mine, too.

Ho ho ho, Baby Jesus!

December 24, 2011

Holy warrior slays Muslim auto’s floorboard

April 23, 2011
Terry Jones

Pastor Terry Jones as a younger man. (Yosemite Sam, "Tribute to the Stars of Termite Terrace II," 2001, limited-edition cel signed by Noel Blanc).

Koran-burning assclown Terry Jones shot and killed a Muslim terrorist floorboard in his own car Thursday night after leaving a TV station in Southfield, Michigan, where it must have been a very slow news day indeed.

Jones, who is clinging to his 15 minutes of fame the way Satan clings to his grudge against Heaven, apparently suffered a premature discharge while getting into the passenger seat of his car. The floorboard was pronounced dead at the scene. He and his driver both bore valid Florida concealed-weapons licenses and were not charged.

Jesus, isn’t it bad enough that this yokel managed to become a pastor? Shouldn’t one have to meet a higher standard for carrying a concealed weapon than for distributing mythology? And a .40 caliber? Puh-leeze. Everyone knows that the standard-issue sidearm for a Christian Soldier is the M1911 .45.

So, remember, kiddies: Check those safeties, and never leave a live round in the chamber. Oh, yeah — and while you’re at it,  try not to be a pulpit-pounding peckerwood who looks like someone Super-Glued an ermine weasel to his chops while he was passed out after chugging the communion wine.

• The magic show continues: Praying for rain in Texas, the War on Easter and how teaching evolutionary biology turns your kids queer. Father O’Grady orders penance of two Bloody Marys and one Hello Dolly for Steve Benen at Political Animal.