Archive for the ‘Scooters’ Category

Just buzzin’ around

March 6, 2019

Getting Italian in the Sandias.

Hey, what can I tell you? It was a Vespa kind of day out there today.

Battery up

August 11, 2018

El Diablo Rojo rides again!

One of the neighbors was chortling about never seeing me riding the Vespa, so I dropped in a new battery (yeah, it’d been a while) and after a bit of reluctant huffing and puffing from the caged, carbureted beastie we’ve been buzzing around the ’burbs again, just ’cause we can.

But it turns out that as per usual I’m behind the curve, out of fashion, so 15 minutes ago.

All the Kool Kidz are rocking the electric motorcycles and scooters these days.

The only part I got right was the battery. ¡Que triste es la vida Vespa!

 

Scooter Saturday

June 13, 2015
My 2008 Vespa LX50 got delivered today, so I'm motorized again.

My 2008 Vespa LX50 got delivered today, so I’m motorized again.

There’s a funny-lookin’ new bike in the garage. Speaks Italian. Only the Bianchi gets it.

I got your ‘partial zero emission’ right here

June 18, 2014

A Subaru Impreza that’s belching cigarette smoke from the driver’s window is hardly a “Partial Zero Emissions Vehicle,” which is marketing bullshit anyway. It’s either a zero-emissions vehicle or it isn’t.

PZEV sounds like the sort of stealth fart we used to call a “one-cheek sneak.” Elevate half the butt slightly above the plastic chair and let fly as the teacher pauses in mid-lecture to take a breath.

Pppppppzeeeeeeeevvvvv.

I found myself stuck behind this PZEV shit (that’s an audio pun, son!) while riding my Vespa over to the scooter shop for its annual maintenance and a minor repair. Interesting how the de rigueur carry for a lit cig’ these days is out the window. As much as the fuckers cost you’d think the addicts would want to keep all those expensive carcinogens inside the car where they can get full value out of each nicotine stick.

But what do I know? I shed that particular vice three decades ago, when a carton of Marlboros cost less than a Subaru.

Still, if ever there was a bad week to quit smoking, this was it. Smack in the shitter goes Iraq, with all the usual suspects slithering out from under their rocks to flicker their forked tongues for fun and profit — including Dickless Cheney and his carpetbagger kid, who’s so overfed and under-taught that she couldn’t even queer a Wyoming election properly. Some 4,500 Americans dead in her daddy’s imperial fantasies and yet the cyborg sonofabitch walks the earth unfettered.

Plus Herself has been road-tripping again, leaving me in charge of quarters. The Augean Stables is what that is. Bowls to fill, litter boxes to empty, Boos to walk twice daily — did you know you have to pick up the dog shit now?

Well, here, anyway. In DC they put it on the Sunday shows and on the op-ed page of The Wall Street Journal.

• Extra Credit Bonus Shit That Pisses Me Off: Eagle, another anonymous stop along the Interstate 70 Industrial Tourism Sacrifice Zone, is creating fun stuff for visitors to do. Bibleburg is angling for gilded turds in the old five-ringed toilet, hoping to display same for ham-and-eggers shuttling between Six Flags Over Bethlehem and the American Opinion Bookstore.