Archive for the ‘Time travel’ Category

Getting clocked

March 11, 2018

The oven clock is missing a knob and any adjustments must therefore be made with pliers. Or, perchance, a hammer.

Fuck a bunch of Daylight Saving Time.

Take my column. Take the White House. Take my girlish laughter.

“Time is a social construct,” says the notoriously antisocial Turk.

But please, don’t take that hour of sleep from me on a brisk Sunday morning in March.

No, goddamnit, I mean it this time. I refuse to participate. I will be an hour late for everything until the nation (save for Hawaii and parts of Arizona) comes to its senses.

You don’t see the Turk getting up an hour early just because the tyrannical feddle gummint controls the nation’s time zones, do you?

You do not, and I have the photographic evidence to prove it.

• Extra Credit Tales of Daylight Saving Time in Crusty County and Elsewhere: And you think you had it rough, resetting your bedside alarm, oven clock and wristwatch. Harrison Walter has a whole room full of clocks that require his attention.

Piece of cake

March 27, 2016
See? Told you I was cute. Once.

See? Told you I was cute. Once.

I didn’t get a bicycle for that first birthday, either. I was robbed.