Archive for the ‘Zappadan’ Category

Kim sheesh

December 17, 2014

Sony eats shit so you don’t have to watch it. Not on Christmas Day, anyway; it seems likely, however, that you will be able to watch “The Interview” via video on demand*, giving Sony Pictures Entertainment a chance to recoup some of its lost millions and Kim Jong-un the option of blowing up your teevee instead of your local cineplex.

Thus, today’s musical selection — “Now You See It – Now You Don’t,” from “Tinseltown Rebellion.”

I recommend that you enjoy it with a glass of fine rum and a Cuban cigar. If you watch “The Interview,” however, I suggest smoking a shitload of weed. It’s supposed to be what makes Seth Rogen smart.

* See comments. It appears that “The Interview” may follow the Sony Walkman TPS-L2 into the dustbin of history.

Play that harmonica, son

December 16, 2014

Well, what the hell else was I supposed to play from the FZ catalog after reading about methane on Mars, f’chrissakes?

Gonna be a dental floss tycoon

December 15, 2014

This is an interesting story, and also a disturbing one, in part because of the questions it fails to ask (or answer) and the assertions it makes without supporting evidence.

Writes Claire Cane Miller: “In addition to making some jobs obsolete, new technologies have also long complemented people’s skills and enabled them to be more productive. … More productive workers, in turn, earn more money and produce goods and services that improve lives.”

Since when? Who among us has not been compelled to become more productive, not simply because technology made it possible, but because management insisted that there be fewer of us to produce? How many of us got fat raises to go along with the new chores? I don’t know about you, but I’m still waiting for mine.

Google co-founder Larry Page proposes a four-day workweek, “so as technology displaces jobs, more people can find employment.” Larry obviously doesn’t get out much, because there are plenty of people working short weeks already, some of them at more than one job, and from what I read there are still fewer jobs than there are people who need them.

“We’re going to enter a world in which there’s more wealth and less need to work,” brays MIT economist Erik Brynjolfsson. Maybe at MIT, Erik old scout. But how about where you are, Dear Readers? Who’s going to get this additional wealth, and where’s that work we’re supposedly going to need less of? My mortgage lender would like some details regarding this New World Order, if you don’t mind. Or even if you do.

I mean, we can’t all move to Montana to be dental-floss tycoons. You priced zircon-encrusted tweezers lately? It’s day 12 of Zappadan 2014.




What’s the ugliest part of your body?

December 14, 2014

Watching a thing called Charli XCX stink up the stage on “Saturday Night Live” I was reminded of one of my favorite Thomas McGuane references, from “Nothing But Blue Skies,” in which another Frank (Copenhaver) muses, “I feel sorry for the young people of today with their stupid fucking tuneless horseshit; that may be a generational judgment but I seriously doubt it.”

Thus today’s Zappadan 2014 selection, from “We’re Only In It For the Money.”

Dog breath

December 13, 2014
Return of the Zomby Woof.

Return of the Zomby Woof.

Mister Boo continues to recover his mojo following eye surgery. The little sumbitch is getting bossy again. Thinks he’s Frank Zappa or sumpin’. But he never shuts up and plays his guitar. Plus he has dog breath.

It’s day 10 of Zappadan 2014.


Cruising for burgers

December 11, 2014

Here’s a Whopper of a tax dodge: Burger King stands to save as much as $1.2 billion in taxes over the next few years by moving its headquarters from the Land of the Free to the Great White North.

Take off, eh! Sounds like it’s time to start getting my grease fix at Hoser Burger. It’s day eight of Zappadan 2014.

The torture never stops

December 10, 2014

Some days it just doesn’t pay to be a news junkie.

In addition to the actual torture we’ve discussed the past couple of days, day seven of Zappadan 2014 brings:

The Soma Double Cross and I took a spin on Trail 365A, a fun, swoopy adjunct to Foothills Trail 365.

The Soma Double Cross and I took a spin on Trail 365A, a fun, swoopy adjunct to Foothills Trail 365.

Great googly moogly! FZ was right! The torture never stops! And that was just from The New York Times. Elsewhere, we have the UCI awarding Astana a WorldTour berth, which is like giving Dracula the keys to the blood bank.

I fled the office and took a nice bike ride into the nearby hills, proving that the American dream can still be had, if only as a brief respite between nightmares. I’m gonna do it again tomorrow. I recommend it to you all.

Whippin’ post

December 9, 2014

Hey, what did you expect? If today were a “Friends” episode, it would be titled, “The One Where We Tortured People and Lied About It.” But it’s day six of Zappadan 2014, and Charles P. Pierce is all the friend you’re ever gonna need for the bird’s-eye lowdown on this torture caper.

A world of secret hungers

December 8, 2014

In “honor” of the re-emergence of Darth Cheney and his meat puppet from the Death Star, in order to make the case for American Exceptionalism In Torture, we present FZ performing “Brown Shoes Don’t Make It,” live from Munich, just in time for day five of Zappadan 2014.

He used to cut the grass

December 7, 2014

I used to cut the grass. I should do it again today. But I’d rather take a nice bike ride, maybe dwindle off into the twilight realm of my own secret thoughts. It’s day four of Zappadan 2014, and I don’t know any nice songs for cutting the grass.

Except for this one. And no, I won’t turn it down. I’m not a very nice boy.