Well, what the hell else was I supposed to play from the FZ catalog after reading about methane on Mars, f’chrissakes?
Category: Zappadan
Gonna be a dental floss tycoon
This is an interesting story, and also a disturbing one, in part because of the questions it fails to ask (or answer) and the assertions it makes without supporting evidence.
Writes Claire Cane Miller: “In addition to making some jobs obsolete, new technologies have also long complemented people’s skills and enabled them to be more productive. … More productive workers, in turn, earn more money and produce goods and services that improve lives.”
Since when? Who among us has not been compelled to become more productive, not simply because technology made it possible, but because management insisted that there be fewer of us to produce? How many of us got fat raises to go along with the new chores? I don’t know about you, but I’m still waiting for mine.
Google co-founder Larry Page proposes a four-day workweek, “so as technology displaces jobs, more people can find employment.” Larry obviously doesn’t get out much, because there are plenty of people working short weeks already, some of them at more than one job, and from what I read there are still fewer jobs than there are people who need them.
“We’re going to enter a world in which there’s more wealth and less need to work,” brays MIT economist Erik Brynjolfsson. Maybe at MIT, Erik old scout. But how about where you are, Dear Readers? Who’s going to get this additional wealth, and where’s that work we’re supposedly going to need less of? My mortgage lender would like some details regarding this New World Order, if you don’t mind. Or even if you do.
I mean, we can’t all move to Montana to be dental-floss tycoons. You priced zircon-encrusted tweezers lately? It’s day 12 of Zappadan 2014.
What’s the ugliest part of your body?
Watching a thing called Charli XCX stink up the stage on “Saturday Night Live” I was reminded of one of my favorite Thomas McGuane references, from “Nothing But Blue Skies,” in which another Frank (Copenhaver) muses, “I feel sorry for the young people of today with their stupid fucking tuneless horseshit; that may be a generational judgment but I seriously doubt it.”
Thus today’s Zappadan 2014 selection, from “We’re Only In It For the Money.”
Dog breath

Mister Boo continues to recover his mojo following eye surgery. The little sumbitch is getting bossy again. Thinks he’s Frank Zappa or sumpin’. But he never shuts up and plays his guitar. Plus he has dog breath.
It’s day 10 of Zappadan 2014.
Cruising for burgers
Here’s a Whopper of a tax dodge: Burger King stands to save as much as $1.2 billion in taxes over the next few years by moving its headquarters from the Land of the Free to the Great White North.
Take off, eh! Sounds like it’s time to start getting my grease fix at Hoser Burger. It’s day eight of Zappadan 2014.
