King me, bitches

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 8 Comments
“Are we done? I have a 10 a.m. tee time.”

I don’t know about you folks, but every time a judge wanted to sentence me for something, I had to, like, be in court, an’ shit.

Tell me again about the whole “rule of law” thing. And then show me the tab for treating Nazi Jesus like he was some senile old fool who just “forgot” that he tried to walk out of the store with the whole country in his pocket.

Fuck me. Arlo Guthrie got tossed in the clink and fined $50 for illegally dumping garbage in Stockbridge, Mass. Nazi Jesus took a dump on the entire United States of America and he’ll be cheating on the front nine before noon Florida time.

And come Jan. 20, he’ll take his act on the road, to the White House.

Just another day at Alice’s Restaurant for this guy. He can get anything he wants. Excepting Alice.

Highway 666 Revisited

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 6 Comments
We seem to be missing a 6 here. Nevertheless, get your kicks, etc.

Another Jan. 6 has come and gone.

This time we managed to skip the armed-insurrection part of the program, so yay for us. Turns out that when they win, The System works.

Who knew?

Watching Vice President Kamala Harris preside over the certification of the 2024 election results this week sent me careening down Memory Lane, revisiting a night in the sneezer in 1977, a Louis C.K. dramedy from 2016, and the last three pestilential erections.

Somehow the Joker, Billy Joe Shaver, The Cars, Dana Carvey, Willie Nelson, and Bill Clinton snuck in there too.

Once you have a cast of characters like that assembled, for good or ill, you just know it’s time for — yes, yes, yes — the first episode of Radio Free Dogpatch in The Year of Our Lard 2025, Dog help us all.

Additional music not included, but which should replace “Hail to the Chief” for at least the next four years, is “Catch Us If You Can” by the Dave Clark Five.

• Technical notes: RFD favors the Ethos mic from Earthworks Audio; Audio-Technica ATH-M50X headphones; Zoom H5 Handy Recorder; Apple’s GarageBand, and Auphonic for a wash and brushup. Performing for us this week are Danny O’Keefe, AC/DC, The Cars, and Billy Joe Shaver, all from YouTube. The 2016 dramedy “Horace and Pete” remains available on Louis C.K.’s website. Audio of the 2024 election-results certification courtesy C-SPAN. Dana Carvey as Ross Perot on “SNL” was lifted from YouTube. Bill Clinton comes (har de har har) from the William J. Clinton Presidential Library. The Walk of Shame is from HBO’s “Game of Thrones.” The headline is a riff on Bob Dylan’s “Highway 61 Revisited,” not incidentally in honor of RFD’s 61st episode. Finally, ask not for whom the clown horn honks; it honks for thee (from Freesound). All other evil racket is courtesy of Your Humble Narrator.

Post this, yo

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 22 Comments
A snippet of the Ann Telnaes cartoon that the WaPo found objectionable. | © Ann Telnaes

Salud to cartoonist Ann Telnaes, who quit The Washington Post after a cartoon critical of Management — and by Management, I mean Jeff Bezos, Mark Zuckerberg, Sam Altman, Patrick Soon-Shiong, and Mickey Fuckin’ Mouse, who are all managing to affix their chapped lips to the Pestilence-Erect’s ass at once — got croaked by the WaPo’s editorial-page bots.

At her Substack HQ, Telnaes explains:

As an editorial cartoonist, my job is to hold powerful people and institutions accountable. For the first time, my editor prevented me from doing that critical job. So I have decided to leave the Post. I doubt my decision will cause much of a stir and that it will be dismissed because I’m just a cartoonist. But I will not stop holding truth to power through my cartooning, because as they say, “Democracy dies in darkness.”

Ho, ho. “Just a cartoonist.” Telnaes knows, as I do, that a sharp pen can puncture a gasbag as thoroughly as a sword, and encourages onlookers to snicker at the well-deserved deflation.

As Boss Tweed once said after getting righteously stuck by cartoonist Thomas Nast:

“Let’s stop those damned pictures. I don’t care so much what the papers write about me — my constituents can’t read, but damn it, they can see pictures.”

I kinda wish I still had a WaPo subscription to cancel. Mebbe I’ll sign back up so I can cancel the fucker again.

See Mike Peterson at The Daily Cartoonist for more about Telnaes and her stellar work.