Delayed instant gratification

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
The Turk naps, 11-22-2010
Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein rests up for his next campaign against The Enemy, just as soon as it warms up and he's had a little nosh.

Phew. Another day of supervising home improvements instead of riding the bike. Why does the Lord wish me to serve him in this fashion? Beats me. You’ll have to ask Him. I only work here.

In the past few days we’ve had the solar collector off, the roof reshingled, the solar collector reinstalled and the attic bespooged with insulation, all in the name of tapping into various socialist schemes for denying the Heat Lobby its obscene profits. Herself did all the heavy lifting as regards setup and follow-through, of course, but I had to watch, and frankly it was exhausting.

After the last tradesman hit the door running, I felt I deserved a new toy for my troubles, and so I bought one — a Voodoo Nakisi. A track bike and a 29er are about the only machines missing from the Mad Dog fleet, and soon I will be lacking only the former, a condition that will persist until I am safely dead. Life is too short to spend it making left turns only.

What the hell, I had all these old parts cluttering up the garage and the thought of building up a MonsterCross® machine with them captured my imagination the way the Turk’ does anything smaller and slower than him, which covers a lot of Darwinian waterfront, believe you me.

This Voodoo is going to wind up looking something like Brent Steelman’s late, lamented CC cyclo-crosser, which he once described as a 700c mountain bike. I think Dr. Mikey von Schenkenstein still has that hand-me-down, and if so, I’ll grab a photo of it for posterity. It remains one of my favorite bikes, and (dare I say it?) must be an unacknowledged ancestor of the 29er all these crazy kids keep going on and on about.

Nary a run, but plenty of fun

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 3 Comments

It ain’t a cyclo-cross unless you get off the bike at some point and run, son. Sorry, but them’s the rules.

Still, today’s Superprestige Gavere was a great bike race. It’s hard to judge the quality of the surface when you’re watching streaming Internet video in an itty-bitty window, but that said you wouldn’t have caught me out on this course without a mountain bike. Maybe a double-boinger, too. It looked like one hell of a rough ride.

Sven Nys just squeaked past Kevin Pauwels at the line. Ten more meters of pavement and the kid would have punk’d him again. It was that close. Poor old Niels Albert looked like Death eating a cracker when he rolled in for third.

Tim Johnson scored a fine 12th-place finish after a rough start — “f’d the first few corners and paid the price big time,” he noted on Twitter.  Jonathan Page, who in contrast had a great start, rolled in a couple places behind Timmy J; VeloNews‘ man on the scene, Dan Seaton, says Page spent a bad night with the gut rumble, then cramped up on the bell lap.

Pow-wels punks Nys

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

No mud at today’s Belgian ’cross. Booooo, hissss. Klaas Vantornout treated the crowd to a really spectacular get-off at the start, though, and the race was run at just short of the speed of light, so my morning did not lack for human suffering.

One of the many sections I cannot ride in Palmer Park
You have to have stones to ride these rocks.

Sven Nys worked his ass off only to get punk’d as Kevin Pauwels jumped him and Zdenek Stybar going onto a flyover and then left both of them behind in the final sand pit.

More of the same on tap for tomorrow’s Superprestige, according to VeloNews‘ Brian Holcombe, who has crossed the water to chat with Stybar and catch a little racing action while he’s at it.

As for me, after logging a few billable hours, I hopped on the mountain bike for an hour of playtime in Palmer Park. Lord, do I suck. Worst. Mountain biker. Ever. Maybe if I swap the old Easton stem for something a little shorter and steeper?

Naw. I’ll still suck. I’ll just be sitting more upright while I stink up the trails.

The Zil lane, American style

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

Rep. John Boner (R-Punkinhead), soon to be Squeaker of the House, expresses his solidarity with the Common Man by refusing to use a military aircraft to jet back home to Ohio a la Comrade Pelosi and instead flying commercial.

“But that does not mean he will endure the hassles of ordinary passengers,” notes The New York Times, “including pat downs and other new security screenings.”

How’s that hopey-changey thing workin’ for ya, Tea Baggers?

Smart — or stupid?

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 2 Comments

The Smart car folks have been branching out a bit, from four wheels to two — first with an e-scooter, and now with an e-bike.

The story from the LA Auto Show hadn’t been posted for more than a few seconds before some wisenheimer (not me) pissed all over the e-bike’s tires in comments:

“Sweet look, but impractical for commuters. There is no rack on the back to accept panniers. There does not appear to be any way to attach fenders/splashguards. The cellphone/lock idea is nice, but not practical for anyone who rides in the rain. It does not appear to be securely held in place, from viewing videos of the bike from Smart (available on YouTube), and may be subject to ejection when striking bumps, curbs, or holes in the road/path. I hope they do more than produce this pretty looking thing and make something much more practical in the future.”

Frankly, the e-scooter does look a tad more practical for anyone not living in San Diego, though its top speed of 28 mph ain’t gonna cut the mustard in a hilly place like Bibleburg, which also happens to be full of lead-footed libertards who think speed limits are the thin edge of the socialist wedge.

Here’s a gallery from Gizmag.