Well, that’s it, then

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 14 Comments

Texus Maximus tries to make it all about him again, but alas, instead of riding the finale in some black Yankee-football-style kit ostensibly honoring the 28 million worldwide said to be living with cancer, The Boss and his bitches have to settle for wearing it while collecting the team prize, which nobody ever gave a runny shit about until, um, this year. Imagine my surprise.

Sorry, Pop, says the UCI, 23rd at 39:20 doesn’t carry a lot of weight around here these days. Pull on the usual gear or go home. Better luck at the Ironman. I hear they let fat fucks wear Speedos in Hawaii.

Long story short, Super Spaniard gets the V, Pretty Boy gets the virginal white, Albuterol Petacchi gets the green (let’s see how long he keeps it), and Anthony Charteau gets the spotty shirt. Maybe for next year he can borrow some heels from a podium chick so he doesn’t have to stand tippy-toe to stare at their tits.

Daniel Schorr, R.I.P.

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 3 Comments

Dan Schorr clocked out today, typing “-30-” to 70-plus years in journalism and 93 on the planet.

Schorr spent his last two decades as a commentator at NPR, but he got his start at age 12, when The Bronx Home News paid him $5 for a scoop. He worked for CBS, landing a first-ever sitdown interview with Nikita Khruschchev; snagged a copy of a suppressed House report on off-the-hook CIA activities and leaked it to The Village Voice when CBS balked; wound up on Dick Nixon’s enemies list; and got in on the ground floor with CNN, way back when it still had dreams of being a news organization.

Schorr won three Emmys, but never learned how to use a computer — he wrote on electric typewriters into his 90s.

He will be missed.

Honky the Clown

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
Tom Tancredo throws his wig into the ring.
Tom Tancredo throws his wig into the ring.

Tom Tancredo, Colorado’s perennial entrant in the national Our Crazy Guy Is Crazier Than Your Crazy Guy competition, has told Scott McIsn’t and Dan “Who the Hell Am I, Anyway? Maes to drop out of the GOP gubernatorial race or he’ll jump in as a third-party candidate.

“Mexicans! Communists! Terrorists! Abortionists!” said Tancredo. Well, not yet. But it’s coming.

Tancredo says he’ll run under the banner of the Constitution Party, which could (and probably should) hold its convention in a short bus, with free rubber helmets for all attendees.

The party already has a candidate — Benjamin Goss, another household name — but he doesn’t sound all that committed. On Wednesday, he told The Denver Post that he remained in the race “at this point.” Uh huh. And Bert Grabsch remains in the Tour, too. He’s just not gonna win it.

The stage GOP is shitting itself, naturally. Dick Wadhams, chairman of the Colorado GOP, told The Post that if Tancredo carries through on his threat, he “will be responsible for the election of Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper as governor” and jeopardize other state races.

Well, then. As another great leader once said, “Bring it on.”