The dump is closed, all the wrong people are in cuffs, and there ain’t enough SNAP in the EBT for turkey but there’s a big ol’ ham living large in the White House.
Oh, well. We can still sing. Sing loud. You know the words.
Tag: Alice’s Restaurant
King me, bitches
I don’t know about you folks, but every time a judge wanted to sentence me for something, I had to, like, be in court, an’ shit.
Tell me again about the whole “rule of law” thing. And then show me the tab for treating Nazi Jesus like he was some senile old fool who just “forgot” that he tried to walk out of the store with the whole country in his pocket.
Fuck me. Arlo Guthrie got tossed in the clink and fined $50 for illegally dumping garbage in Stockbridge, Mass. Nazi Jesus took a dump on the entire United States of America and he’ll be cheating on the front nine before noon Florida time.
And come Jan. 20, he’ll take his act on the road, to the White House.
Just another day at Alice’s Restaurant for this guy. He can get anything he wants. Excepting Alice.
Closed on Thanksgiving
There’s a chain across this dump and a sign that says “Closed on Thanksgiving.”
The tears in your eyes notwithstanding, you’re gonna have to find another place to put the garbage.
Hope you have a Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat. Keep an eye out for Officer Obie. You know what to tell the shrink.
Exceptin’ Alice. …
Sorry to be the bearer of bad tidings just before Thanksgiving, but you can’t get anything you want at Alice’s Restaurant. The restaurant is long gone, and now, so is Alice.
WBUR has a remembrance, and so does The New York Times. Arlo Guthrie, of course, weighed in as well, on Facebook.
Extra Special Bonus Fact: Did you know Alice was a Pelkey? Neither did I. I’ll consult the Counselor, see if he was aware that he was related to criminal and culinary royalty.
We’ll give a thought (and an ear) to Alice and Arlo on Thursday as we have another Thanksgiving dinner that couldn’t be beat.
We’re just waiting for it to come around. …
It ain’t a dump, and it ain’t closed on Thanksgiving, and you can’t get anything you want.
Still, it’d be a friendly gesture if you took all the garbage down to the city dump, starting with that big orange sack of shit that keeps stinking up the church, downstairs where the pews used to be in.
And remember, if you want to end war and stuff, you got to sing loud.
Might not hurt to recite the Haudenosaunee address of gratitude, either. Props to Charles P. Pierce for showing us the way. For more on the Six Nations, a.k.a. Iroquois Confederacy, click here.
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