Clif Bar has killed off two of my favorite Bloks flavors, Citrus and Cran-Razz.

Of course, that’s not how Clif — owned since August 2022 by Mondelez International — phrases it. Clif says these flavors are “retired.”

“Retired,” me bollocks. I’m retired. But I’m still available. Wave a fistful of greenbacks at me and see what happens.

Hel-lo, sailor. …