Went to the taxidermist this morning and they said they wouldn’t need to skin me this time.

“Nope, you look as well as can be expected for a wretched old bag of bone splinters and bad ideas,” the hide inspector said. “But since I don’t get to use the melon baller on you again I’m going to freeze this spot on top of your head because a little hit of schadenfreude relieves my weltzschmerz, if only for a moment. Also, you have health insurance.”

She also found the usual scattering of “wisdom spots,” but not inside my head, where I could really use them.