Posts Tagged ‘George Carlin’

Unstuffed

April 28, 2017

In my last post I mentioned that we live in a desert, by which I meant an actual desert, the Chihuahuan.

Soon we will be living in a consumer desert as well, if Herself has anything to say about it.

Her elder sister and niece have been earning some pocket money hawking items on eBay, and their enthusiasm for the activity has proven contagious. Herself has begun working our overgrown unused-goods orchard like an undocumented immigrant, plucking low-hanging fruit like her unworn Oakleys, my still-functional Flip UltraHD camcorder, and our fifth-generation iPods for sale to the slavering hordes of bargain hunters at large on the Innertubes.

She also required me to drag her old Cannondale R800 down to this weekend’s BikeABQ bike swap at Sport Systems, where the 23-year-old machine is certain to fetch dozens of dollars. If anyone in the vicinity needs a low-mileage, made-in-USA, 48cm road bike, this sucker is the last nickel bargain in America.

There’s all manner of crap cluttering up El Rancho Pendejo, and none of it is safe. Soon, if we’re not careful, we’ll be forced to go out and get … more stuff!

Shit and bad luck

January 13, 2017

 

Today, Friday the 13th, should be Inauguration Day.

In support of my argument I refer you to the renowned political scientist George Carlin.

No cash? No problem

November 24, 2011

Herself and I ordinarily start our Thanksgiving Day drive north to dine with my sis and bro-in-law by listening to Arlo Guthrie’s “Alice’s Restaurant” and finish the drive home with Sam Kinison’s “Live From Hell.” It’s not exactly your typical family tradition, but then we’re not exactly your typical family.

Alas, this trip we got rooked out of Arlo — KRCC wasn’t playing it until noon, when we were well out of range, and KUNC must have played it before we got in range. *

So we listened to Sam on the way up and Richard Pryor’s “… is it something I said?” on the way back. And thus, since the Comedy Rule of Three is clearly in effect here today, and in order to shine a bit of comedic light on the festival of consumerist idiocy called “Black Friday” that precedes The Greatest Bullshit Story Ever Told, we herewith present a portion of George Carlin’s 10th HBO special, “George Carlin: 40 Years of Comedy.”

* Incidentally, we did finally get our Arlo fix around 8:30 p.m. Bibleburg time thanks to the miracle of the streaming internets. There may be a god after all.

Top Fuelishness

September 24, 2010

Have you ever noticed that their stuff is shit but your shit is stuff? — George Carlin

A cycling journalist is a person who can hold two completely contradictory notions at the same time without his or her head exploding.

For example, bike racing is simultaneously beautiful and ravaged by dope (think Lindsay Lohan, if you can bear it). And a $2,679.99 Fisher Transport+ cargo bike “isn’t remotely cheap” while a $7,659.99 Trek Top Fuel mountain bike apparently is eminently affordable.

I wouldn’t buy either bike, myself. I have an old titanium hardtail that suits my mountain-biking needs, and for shopping expeditions I can always ride the Soma Double Cross with panniers fore and aft ($519.98 frame and fork; build kit, racks and panniers not included).

The biggest quarrel I have with both the Transport+ and the Top Fuel involves not their pricing but their extreme specialization. You probably shouldn’t ride the former on a nifty bit of single-track or the latter to the Safeway. But I can handle both on the Double Cross. Five minutes with a couple hex keys and a combo wrench and I can have my choice of a loaded tourer, sport tourer, rigid 700c mountain bike or cyclo-cross bike.

And that’s no shit. Stuff. Whatever.