Posts Tagged ‘Howard Schultz’

Grounds for dismissal

January 31, 2019

Lumpy the Bedbug, a.k.a. Miss Mia Sopaipilla,
practices her duck-and-cover.

Field Marshal Turkish von Turkenstein (commander, 1st Feline Home Defense Regiment) displays his enthusiasm for another wealthy egomaniac at the helm.

I took a poll of registered felines this morning: “Is former Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz a viable candidate for president of the United States?”

The results are as you see.

Of course, the respondents had yet to enjoy the morning’s venti salted caramel mocha frappucino with five pumps of frap roast, four pumps of caramel sauce, four pumps of caramel syrup, three pumps of mocha, three pumps of toffee nut syrup, double blended with extra whipped cream. So the results could be skewed.

Or maybe the candidate is. In describing Schultz as “more of a bore than a monster,” a one-percenter who could draw a few gazillion from petty cash to run as an independent, split the anti-Cheeto vote “and re-elect the dumber version of himself currently in the White House,” Matt Taibbi sums it all up nicely at Rolling Stone: “Is anything in the world more dangerous than a bored billionaire?”