Posts Tagged ‘Jeff Sessions’

Crack me up

November 2, 2017

Have you noticed that cats rarely require chiropractic adjustment? Me too.

Bang, pow, zoom: To the moon, O’Grady!

OK, so it wasn’t quite that dramatic. But it wasn’t no honeymoon, neither.

What it was: I test-drove a new chiropractor today and after some exertion on his part (and some unseemly screeching on mine) I am feeling a bit more like myself. A barely upright lesser primate, in other words.

In professional parlance, I am “a mess,” which is no surprise to anyone.

But mess though I may be, at least I have not been caught lying to the press and to Congress. Now that’s a mess.

Whether anyone has the spine to treat this ailment, of course, is another matter entirely.

Fire burn and cauldron bubble

March 3, 2017

Well, given yesterday’s deluge of shoes in Washington, D.C., if Friday continues in its traditional role as a day for dumping bad news, well … buckle up, folks, and break out the Florsheim bumbershoot.

Yesterday we had:

• Jefferson Davis Beauregard Belvedere “Come Here, Boy” Sessions simmering nicely in a cauldron of his own bullshit.

• Mike Ha’pence popped for using a private AOL email account for public business (and getting hacked).

• Freshly minted EPA chief Scott Pruitt doing likewise, but with an unhacked Apple account.

• Jared Kushner (and pretty much everyone else in the Beelzebozo administration) meeting with the Russians.

• The GOP playing hide-and-seek with its health “care” legislation.

And the hits just keep on coming.

Well, sheeyit. If this’ere witch hunt keeps finding witches all the doo-dah day, I propose someone introduce a measure to change the name of the nation’s capital to Salem.