You want to bend over for Fox News pimp Roger Ailes, fine. Just don’t try to give NPR a handjob while you’re assuming the position.

Juan Williams got the ax from NPR on Wednesday and the only question I have regarding the matter is, “Why did it take so long?” This wasn’t the first instance in which Williams farted higher than his ass, as NPR chief exec Vivian Schiller noted in an e-mail to affiliates, and his outrage — particularly given that Ailes promptly offered him a new three-year contract pegged at nearly $2 million — makes me laugh out loud.

In an essay on FoxNews.com, Williams says:

“This is an outrageous violation of journalistic standards and ethics by management that has no use for a diversity of opinion, ideas or a diversity of staff (I was the only black male on the air). This is evidence of one-party rule and one sided thinking at NPR that leads to enforced ideology, speech and writing. It leads to people, especially journalists, being sent to the gulag for raising the wrong questions and displaying independence of thought.”

Ho, ho. A $2 million gulag. Send me there pronto. I can talk out of my ass as well as Williams can.