Achtung, beeyotch

Obersturmführer Greg “Jethro” Bodino in an undated file photo.

Double-naught spy Greg “Jethro” Bodino is apparently the designated fall guy — “Sündenbock,” in the original German — for the blitzkrieg in Minneapolis whose blowback may have mussed the coiffures of Kristi “Reichstag Barbie” Noem, her chief of “staff” Corey “Simple Battery” Lewandowski, and their famously erratic patron, Orange Hitler.

Bodino, believed to have been a button man in the notorious Clampett Gang before his appointment as Obersturmführer of the ICEholen SS, reportedly has been banished to El Centro, Calif., where there is absolutely no truth to the rumor that he, his photogenic Nazi greatcoat, and the lifts in his jackboots will be in command of a meter-maid’s Cushman cart.

El Centro grannies beware — you may expect a ruthless press conference if you overstay your welcome while parked outside yarn shops, thrift stores, and doctors’ offices. Also, and too, a good pepper-spraying and perhaps a dozen or so bullet wounds. In the back, of course.

Kristi Kremed

“Senator, schmenator, assume the position, wiseguy.” Photo: Etienne Laurent (AP)

Sen. Alex Padilla (D-Calif.) took one for the team today, disrupting a presser by Kristi Kreme and getting the bum’s rush from her goon squad.

An old campaigner who was a field rep for Sen. Dianne Feinstein, and the son of Mexican immigrants, Padilla had to know exactly what he was doing when he acted out for the cameras — most of which, typically, remained focused on Reichstag Barbie as he got hustled out of the room.

Nevertheless, he found an audience, both in the press and at the Senate, where many Viewed With Alarm. Well, a little less than half of the senators, anyway. Outraged Democrats took to the Senate floor to deliver more than a few “Harumphs!”

I mean, my man didn’t light up a Waymo or nothin’.

The bar is mos def getting lowered. Either that or lifted, and aimed at some uptown noggins instead of the rabble downtown in L.A., ese.