Once again The Associated Press has failed to mention my birthday in “Today In History,” though they have taken the time to mention hacks like Anthony Lewis (85), Michael York (70) and Quentin Tarantino (49). Between these gomers and the Pulitzer people I’m starting to get seriously pissed off.

Other noxious lowlights of the day, for those of you disinclined to click links:

• Spanish explorer Juan Ponce de Leon sighted what we now call Florida, and don’t we wish he hadn’t?

• Milton Berle died of colon cancer in Los Angeles.

• Marlon Brando declined the Oscar for best actor, awarded for his role as Don Vito Corleone in “The Godfather.”

• And March Madness was born in 1939, just days after the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakia. A coincidence? I think not.