Tag: Tom Tancredo

No joke(r)

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 8 Comments
Tom Tancredo announces that he will enter the Colorado gubernatorial race because the present crop of candidates fails to represent the insane.
Tom Tancredo announces that he will enter the Colorado gubernatorial race because the present crop of candidates fails to represent the insane.

Tom Tancredo, hands down the craziest Coloradan outside the walls of the state rubber room in Pueblo, will announce today that he will run for governor as the candidate of the American Constitution Party, according to The Denver Post.

Tancredo and GOP poobah Dick Wadhams apparently traded pleasantries on the topic during Peter Boyles’ talk show this morning, with Wadhams asking: “What’s your agenda? What are you going to talk about? Impeach Obama and bomb Mecca?”

To be sure, Dick old scout. And that’s just the beginning. If crazy were asphalt we could squeeze Tancredo like a toothpaste tube and patch every pothole in this cash-strapped state, with enough left over to make I-25 eight lanes in both directions from New Mexico to Wyoming.

Bibleburg being Bibleburg, I fully expect to see Tancredo signs replacing McIsn’t placards citywide within nanoseconds of the official announcement. Half the dingbats in this benighted mini-metropolis go to bed at night jerking off to pictures of Doug Bruce.

• Late update: The Bibleburg Gaslight views with alarm, and even quotes Ozzy Osbourne. The End Times are truly upon us.

Honky the Clown

~ Patrick O'Grady ~ 9 Comments
Tom Tancredo throws his wig into the ring.
Tom Tancredo throws his wig into the ring.

Tom Tancredo, Colorado’s perennial entrant in the national Our Crazy Guy Is Crazier Than Your Crazy Guy competition, has told Scott McIsn’t and Dan “Who the Hell Am I, Anyway? Maes to drop out of the GOP gubernatorial race or he’ll jump in as a third-party candidate.

“Mexicans! Communists! Terrorists! Abortionists!” said Tancredo. Well, not yet. But it’s coming.

Tancredo says he’ll run under the banner of the Constitution Party, which could (and probably should) hold its convention in a short bus, with free rubber helmets for all attendees.

The party already has a candidate — Benjamin Goss, another household name — but he doesn’t sound all that committed. On Wednesday, he told The Denver Post that he remained in the race “at this point.” Uh huh. And Bert Grabsch remains in the Tour, too. He’s just not gonna win it.

The stage GOP is shitting itself, naturally. Dick Wadhams, chairman of the Colorado GOP, told The Post that if Tancredo carries through on his threat, he “will be responsible for the election of Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper as governor” and jeopardize other state races.

Well, then. As another great leader once said, “Bring it on.”