Help (still) wanted

The next step in Bashar al-Assad’s career remains uncertain.

There is no truth to the rumor that Bashar al-Assad resigned as president of Syria to become CEO of UnitedHealthcare.

Please continue to hold. Your call is important to us. (Cue Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.”)

Bringing the heat

Peekaboo.

Sun’s gonna shine in my back door some day.

Actually, it shows up there almost every day, around 9 a.m. lately.

Which, frankly, is not early enough. Not in December. The mountains and trees that shade us in summer keep things cool in winter, too.

Not as chilly as the breath of vengeance on the back of a CEO’s neck these days. But those dudes can afford to hire some heat.

And by heat, I mean a cool quarter-mil’ for round-the-clock protection. Says The New York Times:

Leaders at Allied Universal, which provides security services for 80 percent of Fortune 500 companies, said their phones were “ringing off the hook” on Wednesday with potential clients. Allied covers a wide spectrum of services — including stationing guards outside offices, chauffeuring executives, surveilling their homes and tracking their families.

Protecting a chief executive full time costs roughly $250,000 a year, said Glen Kucera, who runs Allied’s enhanced protection services.

I don’t suppose all this executive armoring-up will have any effect on the cost of products and services we use. Nah. Y’think? Nahhhhh.