The announcement that the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News would shift to an online delivery model, cutting sharply back on home delivery of actual newspapers, drew sharp criticism from caged birds and rodents, puppies and fishmongers throughout the Motor City.
“What, am I supposed to shit on a laptop? An iPhone?” asked Cheepy, a budgie accustomed to crapping on the Freep’s editorial page. “The first time I drop a load on the boss’ Blackberry I’m cat food.”
Added Pooky, a Rottweiler puppy rescued from a Motown shelter: “You ever been swatted with a rolled-up Dell Latitude? Hurts like a motherfucker, I ain’t lyin’. I got worms, I don’t need nobody addin’ to my misery. Couple more reminders from Mr. Dell and somebody ‘roun’ here be pickin’ his nose with his elbow, know what I’m talkin’ ’bout?”
Mad Blog Media 
Hand’s up…first Wings fan to score an octopus on the ice at Joe Louis with a hard drive wrapping the carcass will break the Wings’ bad streak. Let’s go WINGS!!!!!