My Subaru has a thing for thermostat gaskets (it doesn’t like them), and this morning I had to drop it off at Heuberger for the annual replacement of same. Herself was rocketing about the house, getting ready for work, so I chucked the Voodoo in the car, cranked up the heater and the seat warmer, and rolled off to Motor City. Fifteen degrees, said the dashboard thermometer. O, goody.
The mechanics all looked at me like I was from another world; Pluto, or maybe Goofy. And it’s true, I did not look as though I had just stepped from the pages of Bicycling magazine. In point of fact, I may be the worst advertisement ever for fashionable cycling.
My winter kit is a motley collection of premillennial gear, most of it so old I can’t remember where or when I got it (though most of it was made in the USA, which is something of a tip-off). From top to bottom, today’s ensemble went like this: Columbia tuque; Patagonia ski mask; Smith glasses; Cannondale jacket; Patagonia turtleneck; Pearl Izumi gloves, bibs and heavy-duty tights; SmartWool socks; Hi-Tec GT Euro shoes. Only the gloves, glasses and shoes came from overseas. And I know for a fact that the socks are the only item purchased in this millennium, from Colorado Running Company.
The Sammy Safetys among you will notice that this list does not include a helmet. So sue me. I wear a 7 5/8 hat. Try stuffing that fat bastard into a helmet without a pry bar and some Vaseline.
Late update: The Subaru remains unfixed (shorthanded at the shop), and the ’83 Toyota 4WD won’t start (a battery that even my charger won’t reboot). O, bugger. And me with an incomplete holiday grocery list, too. Off to the auto-parts store for a heavy-duty battery.
Mad Blog Media 
C’on Patrick … I wear a 7 3/4 (or slightly larger) hat and I have a thin skull cap to wear under my helmet. The cap serves to keep my ears from freezing off.
Geeze, Patrick. Your local dealer must have acquired a batch of Subaru gaskets fabricated by someone whose father went down with the Yamato. Just getting even, eh?
Patrick,
Please take a look at http://www.bhsi.org/bighead.htm and reconsider. It is your choice, but I’d hate to think of what an brain injury would do to you. Geez, think of what Palin could hae been like if she had worn a helmet. Or, if her father had worn a condom.
Comrades,
Plenty of brain damage already, ’tis true. And Bruce, I do have a thin cap that fits fine under my favorite helmet and covers my shell-like ears. Alas, I needed that great big Columbia fleece hat and a face mask for this morning’s temperatures, and not even my largest helmet would accommodate both of them. Happily, 95 percent of the ride was on an off-street, car-free bike path, which was deserted because only mental defectives like me were riding bikes in 15-degree weather at 8:30 a.m.
Okay, I’ll let you off the hook for riding sans helmet. Geez, I mean anyone riding in 15-degree weather needs sympathy/pity/condolences. May your Sabaru be healed quickly.
Pat, try getting a cheap full-face DOT helmet instead of a bicycle helmet. The EPS energy absorbing material makes a great insulator when not punched full of holes. The tricky part is not fogging the face shield from heavy breathing, and the solutions vary depending on the helmet model. The best helmets are the ones with the neoprene seals above the nose area and venting around the mouth.
No Comment….but hey at least you got out and rode. I’m too bummed to ride. Must be the frigid Cali temperatures. Or the Lumber-brained Politicos in this State…..
Peace and goodwill to all the Dogs on the site. And may the holidays (or holly-daze) treat you all well and good.
Left Coast Jimmy.
P.S. Patrick, from the sound of it, the tuque and a helmet would have made some Rastafarians VERY proud, mahn.
Its snowing like God has a cold and is sneezing endless clouds of white snot down here. Tomorrow will be another day on four wheels, I suspect. Drove past a three car pileup on the way home from the salt mines tonight. Glad I was not in one of them.
7 degrees today, -3 yesterday, -5 the day before and Friday was supposed to be the 6th annual Toys for Tots bike towing trailers in rush hour ride down Elston, but Thursday night dumped 8 inches of snow with 20mph winds and for some reason the crews didn’t clear the roads fast enough for a 7 AM start. Bummer.
And what does the well turned out toy ride rider wear when riding less than a week before the solstice? A custom made jumpsuit with a thousand pockets each one holding a chemical hand warmer packet. Stop at a light too long and the snowbank across the street melts. Downside? Getting the melted helmet off.
Happy Holidays to all.
feel your pain in the over-sized noggin front. folks tell me that i don’t need a skid lid as much as the pavement needs ding protection.