It finally stopped raining for a couple of days, and Tonatiuh the sun god has delivered us a long-overdue solar stimulus package. The cats couldn’t be happier — especially Turkish, a.k.a. Mighty Whitey the Blue-Eyed Bully of Bibleburg, Big Pussy, the Turkinator, Turkenstein, et al. Indoors is anathema to the big galoot, who on rainy days stalks from door to window to basement to office, making a doleful sound not unlike helium escaping from a leaky balloon.
Mia Sopaipilla is less demanding, but she’ll take the outdoors on a sunny day, if it’s offered. And so will I. I got out for a quick hour on the ‘cross bike, and wowsah, has the foliage ever exploded. All of a sudden there’s shade on the bike path — which is not always a good thing.
Once those spindly trailside trees fill in with greenery, every blind corner is one more crank on the handle of the old jackoff-in-the-box. A guy has no idea what’s gonna pop up. But whatever it is, it’s probably gonna be wearing an iPod.
I’ve thought about mounting a bullhorn on my handlebars, or maybe an air-raid siren, but my poor bike is already carrying more than enough weight. What a shame the iPod isn’t equipped to receive radio. Just think what fun you could have with a mic’ and short-range transmitter. “Hey, Wide Load, watch your six, incoming! Shift three feet to starboard. And put on a shirt, f’chrissakes. You look like a Wookiee with an eating disorder.”
Mad Blog Media 
I don’t know if even the air raid siren would get through, O’G. I’ve been slowed to walking pace behind iPlodders and reduced to literally shouting at them to no avail. Sometimes all you can do is wait for a wide spot and scare the bejeezus out of them by brushing their shoulder as you take advantage of that conveniently placed berm… one guy I passed some months ago was literally doing little dance moves down the singletrack to crappy music I could hear from ten feet behind him. After trying unsuccessfully to penetrate the sonic waves of shitty synthesizers and crash cymbals emanating from the region of his ears, I just rode by at very close range. I’m pretty sure he made up a whole new dance move on the spot, involving a frantic leap to the right, one hand to the chest, the other flailing in the air above his head. I would have found it comical had I not been afraid he was suffering a heart attack on the spot.
Railroads have a solution for this problem: cowcatchers.
Sure, it adds weight, but also a lot of entertainment value….
That’s the universal problem with multiuse paths. Frustration and cluelessness. The LCI list has a recent discussion of some of those Cycle Tracks being proposed or built in various U.S. cities and in Montreal. John Allen has discussed some of this.
http://www.bikexprt.com/bikepol/facil/sidepath/issues.htm
what is it with these people sticking things in the ears, it want be long till we are all deaf hmmmmm maybe thats a good thing
then I wouldn’t have to hear all the BS
I’m a roadie in Texas. I don’t deal with i-Plodders much, but angry drivers are fairly common. I’m not sure what’s available for the cyclocross or MTB market, but I bought Cycling Defense System’s (CDS) 50mm cannon for my Cervelo. Very little recoil. Shoots a tracer every 10 rounds. I can maintain a steady 22mph while firing without much extra effort. The kit comes with a laser sighting system that fits most helmets (mine’s a 3-year-old Giro). The trigger is a button on the thumb-side of the right brake hood (fits most Shimano, Campy, and SRAM–mine’s Ultegra). The new system is supposed to be voice activated. Like all new bike stuff, I’m waiting for the 2nd generation before I upgrade–and maybe a Lennard Zinn review.
The new systems should maximize the use of carbon fibre and saboted rounds to minimize the wear on the barrels, and enable thinner barrels. I’d go with more tracer rounds per load, especially if you computer-automate the weapon to aim for flammable areas such as fuel injector systems or the gas tank.
Depleted Uranium tracer rounds with a plastic sabot. I like it. Maybe design a prototype system as a tailgun on our tandem, sort of a miniaturized USN Phalanx CIWS, complete with doppler, range-finding radar guidance.
Maybe a back to back recumbent tandem for that tailgunner? I can imagine the kind of space that would create, a little paint marker on a swivel mount with the stoker/gunner swinging it from side to side.
Ahh well, we can dream.
Opus
I dunnoh… tracers work both ways, you know. I prefer to sneak and peak and drop them with one shot before they know what hit them. My only problem is finding black PJ ninja suits with cleat adapters in the five-toe socks.
SteveO they must be available out there somewhere as many Bike Ninjas as we have just in my neighborhood alone.