Chamois-sniffers worldwide are weeping into their FRS energy drink now that Lance Armstrong has failed to croak everyone in his first Tour time trial in four years. Still, the old man cranked out a strong early time, avoiding the sort of miscue that seems to dog Garmin’s David Millar, who nearly ate a barrier after overcooking a corner and was lucky to keep the rubber side down.
And as usual, it didn’t matter who was actually leading the race. At 10 a.m. Bibleburg time, with 100 riders through the first time check, that was Levi Leipheimer, who gets less love from the talking heads than a baby-seal sandwich at a PETA picnic. You can just see Levi slapping Odessa’s butt in the heat of passion, yelling, “Say my name! Say my name!”, and Odessa murmuring, “OK … um, what is it again?” Dude is the Rodney Dangerfield of pro cycling.
Fabian Cancellara finally shut everybody up by riding so fast that Carlos Sastre got off his bicycle to see what was the matter; the defending champ, who if anything is getting even less love than Leipheimer, wound up 21st at 1:06 back. Poor sod didn’t even have the chance to start in the yellow jersey nobody believes he earned.
Meanwhile, here in the Land of the Big PX it’s the Fourth of July, or July Fourth, depending upon whether you are a Red, White and Blue American or one of the mongrel hordes with all the oil and bottomless credit. Bibleburg is too broke to put on its annual fireworks display, but God is providing a little thunder and lightning for our amusement. Whether this is out of sympathy or a desire to barbecue a few barbecuers remains to be seen.
Sure wish He’d chuck a few bolts Sarah Palin’s way. I b’leeve the gal has done lost some of the Energizer in her bunny.
Mad Blog Media 
Yeah, in case anyone missed it due to the All Lance All the Time coverage, Cancellara really kicked ass today.
I think we should all send Sarah a screwdriver, as a subtle hint that she has a few screws loose.
Palin, Sanford, and Ensign all in the month of June.. Ain’t it grand?
“I think we should all send Sarah a screwdriver, as a subtle hint that she has a few screws loose.” Which kind of screwdriver? The liquid, alcohol infused one, or the overbuilt torque wrench?
Only cause she could take it the wrong way….and think she’s “hot for teacher.”
I read that Sarah thinks Alaska is just too backwater as a base of operation. Also, this is a way to manage the constant ethics violations she keeps racking up in Alaska. So instead of being ethical, she quits, gets a GOP/K Street gig for 20x her state income, and raises large $$$ for the GOP.
I keep hearing stuff from the GOP calling Palin “dynamic” and “a major player.” If Palin is who the GOP wants for 2012, then Obama can divorce Michelle, start dating Barney Frank, put Frank on the 2012 ticket as VP, and Obama would still get 60% of the vote.
Yes, Sarah. America needs you in the Lower 48. It’s much easier to keep track of the GOP Freakshow when you’re here.
All I can say is that if this chick wins the election in 2012, it means the whole country has gone off its rocker (e.g., Germany, 1932). Anyone want to start a country somewhere else?
Khal,
I’m ready to go now. My only demand is there must be surfing.
I’m absolutely sure that, if every person was required to go surfing at least once a quarter, humans would be much better stewards of Mother Earth.
Oh, and no surfing competitions, please. Just the pleasure of surfing.
Oh, me too, me too! I want in on the new country. From whom should we steal it? That seems to be how new countries are made, after all. Maybe we could just go interplanetary… terraform Mars or something. I bet the mountain biking would be EPIC.
Come to “Kal-ee-four-knee-yah”, we have epic mountain biking AND surfing.
And by 2012 we should be a “former” United State.
Heck, we even have playas who would a Barak-Frank ticket to rest…”Two snaps up in a Z formation!”
Never paid taxes in AK but worked there for three years. Ed Abbey was right about that place (go figure): not the last frontier but the last pork chop. Nothing but wide open space, but the typical resident is lucky if he has a 30 X 50 plot to put his double-wide on.
Sarah hates living there, hates being from there, feels like she’s too good to stay there, and projects all that into some sort of reverse-elitism.
Says she doesn’t want to milk the system, but all indications are that she stacked arms and started route-stepping a year ago. Her Lt Gov is going to find an inbox that’s overflowing with neglected business.
She’s so stupid, she doesn’t realize what a free ride she got by not having to go through the party nomination campaign. It’s one thing to say that everyone who disagrees is just a hater, because they’re liberal or Dems or whatever. But if she’s going to run, she’ll have other Republithugs pointing out all of her weaknesses. Newt or Mitt or whoever will have a field day with her, and she doesn’t see it coming.
I can see a whole lot of Dems donating money to her campaign.
Levi: Yeah, Lancie-pants has Nike and Oakley, Levi has Ride-ID. Bit a discrepancy there considering the disparate mileage the two have laid down over the last three years.
I have heard about a dozen people remark during that California tourism commercial, in which Levi makes some bad pun whilst wearing his US Champ jersey, “hey, I didn’t know Lance was from California.”
The best part of Palin quiting on Alaska: what would she do when there are REAL issues afoot?
Actually saw a MSM news bit that Rove and Huckabee were questioning her character. “Nope, Sarah baby, the big boys won’t roll on you doll, you’re too sexy for them!”
The GOP, finding yet another way to screw the pooch a few years too early. Gotta love it!
Now if they could only figure a way to take Gov. Shit-4-brainz here in Cali with them, all would be grand!!